Month: January 2018

Games

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So I have two choices

Not sure which to do

Play a game

Or remain true

Treat you mean to keep you here

Or be myself and evoke fear

Will I text you first today?

Is this just a silly game I think we play?

But you play it too, I know you must

I guess I have issues involving trust.

So let’s pause a moment and decide

Do I reveal my love or let it hide

Part of me feels if you really were true

I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering what to do

You used to be eager my dear lover

So this silence thing feels like it’s over.

The key this time is to try and remain

Slightly more normal, a lot less insane.

(C)Slumpless

Hurt Alert

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Every aspect of me is sensitive

The rubbing of a sock on my little toe

My innards if I ingest unsuitable morsels

Every speck is on hurt alert

It’s no wonder that

As I tread carefully

Then so must you

Every word you utter or don’t

Every touch you give or withhold

Can be beautiful fire or barbed wire

I’m not in between so please don’t be

Love me gently but with strength behind it

Gentle pressure. No sharp digs.

I’m not saying I’m covered in cotton wool

But I ought to be.

So easy there tiger before you rub

You are all grown but I’m just a cub.

(C) Slumpless

Someone, Like me..

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I can’t be anything other than this

Over -think. Over-share. Over myself.

I try you know.

Be better. Be less…. just be

It’s so hard you see

To have a million judges sitting at your mouth

Those gavels bang a steady rhythm in my skin

I just want to crawl out of it

Be a newborn me.

Oh the silliness that I show

Is nothing like me at all

Folly. Fool. Uncool.

This constant compulsion

Of verbal expulsion

Shut. Me. Up.

But sometimes when the light is not too bright

Or the mirror too harsh

I think maybe it’s ok

To be this way

That out there the strong silent type

Is longing to be

Someone like me.

(C) Slumpless

Will we always slither?

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Will we always slither around

Sliding over barren ground?

Will you always tease my skin

Then turn away afraid to sin?

Will I always long for this

Less than a caress more than a hiss?

Will the sun that heats my blood

Heat yours too and make it good?

Will the skin we shed and shake

Make us more human and much less snake.

Will we ever be rid of this terrible curse

Of being unable, to be an ‘Us’.

What hope have we? No matter how hard we try

Our devious ways will make her cry.

(c) Slumpless

Symptoms of Death

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Do they know it ? Do they?

Sense death at the door

That this life and world will be no more?

Do they start thinking differently about their friends

Something inside knowing it’s the end

Start to get their affairs in order

Before they reach the final border.

Does the wind blow differently?

Does the sun shine brighter?

Perhaps the earth knows

It will be one soul lighter.

Are there symptoms of death

Do they whisper in your ear

Telling you the end is near?

I have to ask. I have no choice.

I think I’ve heard the reaper’s voice.

(c) Slumpless

Segmented

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Stop. Stop it now.

Please.

I’m peeling already.

Swirling bits of me unraveling onto the floor

If you don’t desist

My segments will spread

Soon I will be untethered

A pulpy mess.

No waxy exterior to make me shine.

All you will see are the pips.

Don’t peel me if you can’t handle the bitter and the sweet.

Have a banana instead.

(C)Slumpless

Count On Me.

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I log the hours, minutes,seconds to my soul

Counting, countless moments

All etched in vein , trampled by pulse after pulse after pulse

I can sleep a billion nights and still feel tired

Wired.

I would hug the cells of you if I could

Kiss every nucleus of your living skin

I would never tire of that

But you are not here

And so every step is a million miles

Every breath made of fire

That burns. That yearns.

For you.

I cannot feel the passing of my weary life

But I can tick it off on paper

Tick. Tick.Tick .

As if everything was right.

I won’t know it’s over

Until I’m covered in clover

That I can count on.

(C) Slumpless

In Grain

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Oh how lovely. How liberating.

I change my mind. I can stop.

This love thing has a pause.

My heart has become elastic.

Fantastic.

I can stretch it over your face then

Ping !

Draw back.

Just like you have.

I don’t have to sink deeper

I can grab a branch. Pull myself out.

Whoosh. Suck. Whoosh.

Plop.

Out I come from whatever this was.

Not covered in goo but grain.

Sane.

Quicksand after-all. No slime.

No grime.

Oh my how I’ve changed .

My mind. My life. My way of loving.

It’s better this way.

Better for me.

But the funny thing is when I walk away.

You always follow.

(C) Slumpless

Wave Goodbye

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I dream of waves

Inconsolable water that knows no forgiveness

It’s coming you see.

The big one.

Do you dream of it too ?

It will toss and turn us

Hurl us away.

You and your big house

Me in my flat.

All of this. All of that.

The roar. The gurgle.

The silence.

(c) Slumpless

Pilfer

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You pilfered it clear out from under me
Swift as swift you are
Ninja moves and pow you had it
You had me.
How could I have been so foolish?
Again.
Your eyes. It was there all along.
Smiling eyes, that’s what I thought.
Laughing. They were laughing.
At me.
I deserve it this time.
I should have known better.
Better. Better. Better.
Next time.
(C)Slumpless

Label me please

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“I hate labels”

I must have said that in a previous life.

Careful what you wish for.

Now I long to be pinned and defined

Categorized.

Please tell me who I am once and for all.

As it is I’m not one thing or another

Not human not mother

Not healthy not sick

Quick.Quick.Quick.

Before my blurred lines dissolve into nothing.

So I can stop longing for approval

From sources that never offer it

So go on. Put that sticker on.

Place me in a jar.

My ingredients on the back

At least then I can sit calmly on the shelf

Instead of loose as a lentil or a worse

A nut.

(C) Slumpless