Subtitles

I thought we had movie love

The kiss in the rain feel no pain kind

Run down the streets shouting my name

Fight monsters and beasts

Just to see me.

But no ever-after, for us .

Ours is the tragic kind

The one you wish you could rewind

Less flame more fog

The sad, silent type of film

And I’m not sure if you’re speaking

Or if I need subtitles

And it’s all just too much to watch

I want to look away

But my eyes are glued to this scene

Will it ever end ?

Reeling.Reeling. I’m reeling.

Fin.

(C) Slumpless

Need

You took down the fairylights

And I didn’t know what to say.

How could I explain to you the need for those little buds of soft glowing light ?

And I don’t say ‘need’ lightly.

You know this time of year is hard for me

You know the opaque clouds that fill the sky ?

Well they fill me too.

Those lights were my solace

A twinkle in the drab grey that permeates every cavity of this godforsaken soul.

But you bundled them up tightly and put them away

They made the place look messy

But I’m the one who is here all day

Don’t I have a say ?

Don’t take away my light

Don’t leave me in the dark

There is a cold wind howling

And a shadow at the door.

(C) Slumpless

Too Muchness

You’re very aware of your “too muchness” He said.

“Much too much” I replied

I’m much too emotional

Much too intense

Much too mad

Much too sad

It’s all too much you know ?

But for who ? For me ? For you?

What about too less ? Isn’t that worse ?

Much more of a curse?

I suppose he’s right.

I suppose more is better

Then why do I feel less ?

(C)Slumpless

Little pleasure

I don’t have time to plant flowers

Or paint my kitchen blue

I don’t have the patience to bake a cake

I’m too busy to take a bath.

I realised then you absorb colour

From the world. From me.

I gave it out without a thought.

These little pleasures came easy

The smell of coffee in the morning

Candles late at night

These things were scaffolding for my fragile senses

They keep the grey at bay

But for you the world was made of sturdier stuff

And you had no need for sculpted glass.

I’m not saying you’re crass but you’re not as gentle as I thought.

So I will keep filling this world with rainbows

But you won’t find my gold.

(C) Slumpless

You Planted Flowers

You planted flowers.

There was nothing but concrete and grey

God that grey. Suffocating. Stifling grey.

And wretched looking people and their wretched looking pets

Littered sidewalks

Another siren in the distance.

But you planted flowers.

And I was on the bus

And though you don’t know me

I feel somehow you do.

So please keep them watered

Because it matters .

It matters to me.

(C) Slumpless

Friends?

NO we can’t be friends

Why would you even ask ?

When you know that your skin beside mine

Is nothing short of water to a parched tree

I can’t just pretend to like you

It would all seep out in the end

No you are lover not friend.

My hands can’t shake yours

Nor my lips mutter pleasantries

When inside I’m a cavern of want

You will haunt

Me forever

But better as a memory …please

Friendship is just a tease.

(C)Slumpless

Players

Thanks you guys

You have taught me well

This messing me around shit

Has given me Hell.

Will he reply ? Will he text?

What’s happening now ?

What happens next?

Thanks y’all for making me feel crazy

The last few years are somewhat hazy

Constant confusion , up and down moods

Wondering how anyone could be so rude?

But still I thank you

Because now you see

I too can be a player

Not just a playee.

This karma thing it really works

So lashings of gratitude to all you jerks.

(C) Slumpless

Time dies

All I want to do is sleep

Because being without you is being stuck to the hands of a clock

Tick tock.

I feel every second jolt my core

Time isn’t like before.

It used to fly. Remember?

Just yesterday I floated on weightless sand

Upside down in an hourglass

Then right back up again.

Now it’s just circles.

And they never fucking end.

(C)Slumpless

Things that never fade

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Barnacles of guilt cling to my underbelly
Ugly protrusions that only I can see
They form the frame of me
This terrible guilt. This terrible guilt.
I wish. I wish. I wish I were a fish.
What’s the point of wishing ?
Better to go fishing.
I’m no ordinary vessel though
I’m tethered to the shore
Forever wanting more
The salty water is furrowing my bow
The seagulls laughing because I hold no plunder
All thunder.
No electricity here.
I hear whales singing or rather I feel it in my neck
My hull.my skull.
Echoes of all the wrongs I ever did
The ones I hid
They re the ones that stick
Gouge them off with a sharp blade ?
You think I haven’t tried?
Water laps at the edges of me. A little acid from a world gone mad for things that never fade.
Eroding my core. Reminding me I’m a wh….
The rope is taking longer to fray
Soon I’ll be a skeleton ship.
Tied at the hip.
Soon I’ll be a frame. Only a frame
With creatures chewing my brain.
Those barnacles though. Well they ‘ll just cling to some other thing. Something good.
Rock not wood.

(c) Slumpless

First Cut

I split my heart in two.

For you.

This is no mean feat

It isn’t just cutting meat.

There is a hacking, a gnawing

A cracking of what was whole

And I have become a child again

Learning to use these new organs

Uncertain whether I should have made the first cut.

A sliver may have been wiser

Less to chew. Unlikely to choke.

A girl with two hearts

Is a bit of a joke.

(C) Slumpless

Retreat

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Ok it’s time to retreat

Pull back woman for God’s sake.

You have your own personal Groundhog day.

Use it. Remember. Learn.

You put your heart on your sleeve

No return.

So let him simmer. Let him wonder.

Don’t tear your own life asunder.

Let it be. Just wait in the long grass.

You do it so well when you don’t really care

Harness that.

It may not be fun

But if you push

He will run.

(c) Slumpless

Maybe it’s better if he does

Alone In The Kitchen

I cry alone in the kitchen

Soft burbles on the outside

Giant blubbering within.

I can’t let him see what has happened my heart

He never even knew it was gone.

Wretched. Wicked. Wrecked.

Him. Me.Him.

The smell of burnt rice reminds me of my place

So I wipe my face

Breathe deeply, stop the whines

It is after all Valentine’s.

(C) Slumpless