Only smart if you are….I’m not.
I proved that.
I descended into the proverbial rabbit hole
I just couldn’t stop myself. The heat it generated in my skull should keep the battery going for years.
Hours of searching for something I was never even sure existed
By trying to prove to myself I wasn’t crazy … I became just that.
Lock me out. Of it. Of life. Of me.
You fought until the bitter end
I’ll give you that at least
All the proof in front of me
You thought it was behind you.
You were like a cornered bird.
But at least they can fly.
You had nowhere to go
You turned into a festering mass
And I wondered how I ever saw anything else
Where were your soft, gentle hands ?
Where was your kind heart?
One lie down.
How many more ?
I can’t hope to catch the stars
Their jagged edges would cut through my net
And then what ?
To have but for a moment
But then for it to go?
How could my feet touch soil
My hands and body toil
Day after mutinous day
When my light had gone away?
I won’t lie in the gutter and look at the stars
I will hold the moon
Swing like a baboon.
I will not search for heaven on earth
Magic ends at birth
I will strap myself to comet
Whirl and soar and bathe in whispy galaxy
I will be part of the dream
Rather than the sleep
I will become the starlight
While you below shall weep.
I’m in a culling mood today
The type where no bullshit is allowed
If you want to be part of my life
Try fucking harder.
If you want respect….
Actually, I thought this was all pretty obvious
Oh well. Time tells.
She told on you and you and you too.
She told on my Mother and Father.
They should have tried bloody harder.
Today I have no patience for a shoulder shrug
I need people who willingly hug.
The kind who wrap me in fuzzy love
The ones who seem to be sent from above.
So today my whip is going to crack
Be a decent person or get the sack.
This is for my best friend who puts her money where her mouth is and shows kindness instead of smugness. You know who you are xxx
I must have met Medusa
For a brief moment.
Enough to turn my heart to stone.
Those snakes in her hair
Each of them with their own wicked agenda
Each the root of the cause
A heart that never thaws.
I took you to the lakes
“Is this it?” You said.
I took you to the hills but you wanted mountains.
To the woods but you wanted jungle.
I gave you my heart. But you took my soul.
My hand, but you grabbed my neck.
My devotion was met with no emotion.
My love hit a brick wall.
I’m learning to avoid the fall.
There are oceans out there for you to paddle
There are forests with trees for you to climb
Why the fuck did you even pick mine?
I hope you find what you seek
But please, please, please!
Don’t prey on the weak.
I didn’t realise it but I was waiting.
Waiting for you to shed that brittle skin
To show me someone better
To prove my doubting wrong.
I tried to shrug away your strange behaviour
Those angry outbursts make me cringe.
I tried to justify your lies
Your sideways glances at other women ?
I held back my whinge.
I kept waiting.
Over and over I gave into you.
Then suddenly oh suddenly I became aware
Of that wonderful feeling of “I don’t care”
PS: The funny thing of being able to post this
Is I know you never check my blog
Because on top of being a moron
You are also a self-centered hog 🐗