Lie down

You fought until the bitter end

I’ll give you that at least

All the proof in front of me

You thought it was behind you.

You were like a cornered bird.

But at least they can fly.

You had nowhere to go

You turned into a festering mass

And I wondered how I ever saw anything else

Where were your soft, gentle hands ?

Where was your kind heart?

One lie down.

How many more ?

(C) Slumpless

Care Less

I didn’t realise it but I was waiting.

Waiting for you to shed that brittle skin

To show me someone better

To prove my doubting wrong.

I tried to shrug away your strange behaviour

Those angry outbursts make me cringe.

I tried to justify your lies

Your sideways glances at other women ?

I held back my whinge.

I kept waiting.

Over and over I gave into you.

Then suddenly oh suddenly I became aware

Of that wonderful feeling of “I don’t care”

PS: The funny thing of being able to post this

Is I know you never check my blog

Because on top of being a moron

You are also a self-centered hog 🐗

(C) Slumpless

The Rush

Who am I in this sad story ?

The pathetic character that swallows lies like they were made of gin ?

The third wheel in that overused triangle, where everyone is rooting for the other girl ?

Am I heroine or meth ?

Which has the happy ending?

But I must be a fool. I must.

Only a fool would keep going back to barbed wire

Keep touching fire

Yearning for a burning, a bite.

Maybe it’s venom that sustains me

Even though it pains me.

I like your hands around my neck

In between ecstasy and smack.

Keeps me on track. Or off.

Grass is better than tarmac.

I’ll keep running in circles either way.

The air around me pungent with your words.

All absurd

And sweet but not in equal measure

The good old pain/pleasure

The undulating pulse of your tongue.

Wringing.Wringing. Wrung.

Maybe I’m just vapour, a smoke

The joke.

A joint in your story.

A silly pause, where you rested your mouth

Before moving south.

I try to do my steps. To get you out of my system.

But when there is nothing but hush

All I remember is the rush.

(C)Slumpless

Is it me ?

When you’re fighting with everyone and you ask yourself “Is it me ?”

Maybe for once it’s not.

Maybe everyone

IS an asshole

And you’re finally seeing it.

But if everyone treats you badly

Is it because you let them ?

(C)Slumpless

But if everyone is an asshole…what are you ?

Ostrich

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I have paid the price for a half-life

A half thought.

A relationship fraught.

Together ? Or not?

He loves you. He loves you not.

Make a decision for f#*%k’s sake.

The ground won’t shake.

Then maybe we would have been ok.

Better rounded. Our depression unfounded.

Oh what a burden to carry

Did they mean to marry?

Wishing they would divorce

It couldn’t get any worse.

Not for me. Not for us.

A life undefined.

Something terribly wrong but not on paper

Never on paper. Too black and white.

Enough with this shite.

It’s not right. It never was.

Were you trying to protect us?

Or was it yourselves you were trying to save?

Neither one of you brave..

Enough. Enough.

Only now I can move on

Try not to do the same wrongs.

You’re still ostriches though

At least you’ll be grand

With your heads in the sand.

Not us. Definitely not me.

The blinkers are gone

The things I always believed , the same old song

No more. No more.

I want more.

So much more.

(c) Slumpless

 

Half-ass Bad-ass

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You’re not really a rebel, are you?

With your skull tattoos and lost soul vibe.

You sit on a bike that you can’t  ride

You smoke pot all the time so you can’t drive.

You walk with a swagger but have no sway

Your ridiculous stories give you away

Your ‘live in the moment’ constant retort

Although you really do nothing of the sort.

You like heavy-metal fine.. ok

You over insist that you’re not ‘gay’

You’re mean though

I’ll give you that.

Shut me out of life

Make me feel like a twat.

You’re a rebel without a reason

I committed no crime or treason.

I wanted you and that was all

Your worst crime was to pretend to fall

You’re full of crap and rather crass

You’re really not a good.. bad-ass.

(c) Slumpless

One Night

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‘Just one night’ he said ‘And then no more’

It hasn’t happened but I feel like a whore.

‘Just one time.. she won’t find out.’

It hasn’t happened but he’s still a lout.

‘But no more contact, no more texts

This is not a relationship

Just merely sex’.

Does he know I’m human

That I have heart?

Was I not clear about it from the start?

I have feelings and if we shag

He’ll throw me away like a dirty rag.

I’ll want it to be special

I’ll want it to be more

But I’ll be left lying at the door.

So he really thinks I want a one night stand?

I’d rather use my own right hand.

(c) Slumpless

 

Buck Off

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I fastened my soul to you a long time ago

And I can’t quite seem to undo the latch

Though you toss and kick

I still sit tight

Waiting for the time to be right.

Your rolling nerves just under my skin

Tell me there’s nothing left within

Not for me not for what we were

Of that you’re really making sure.

So jump and shake. Bruise and buck

One of these days I’ll stop giving a f#%*$

(c) Slumpless

 

Fiddle Dee Dee

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Fiddle dee dee

I’m filled with glee

My pockets are full

My life is free

Fiddle dee doo

I don’t care about you

Your lack of life

Won’t give me any strife.

Fiddle and fun

My life is overrun

With all things good

No feeling of ‘should’

I was borne here by luck

And I know that may suck

But I’d rather bury my head in the sand

Than give you a hand.

(c)Slumpless

Be A Balloon

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Why can’t you just be cheery

This once?

When I’m feeling so damn down

Couldn’t you just pick me up?

Instead you tie lead weights to my ankles

And wait for me to drown.

You wait until I’m rock bottom

Then dredge the silt so I can fall further.

Why can’t  you be a balloon ?

(c) Slumpless

The Workings Of Me

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I felt the cutting in my blood

A little sharp tingling  and suddenly  more

My guts spilled out

All over the floor.

Sharing my innards with the world

Absurd. Absurd. Absurd.

The beautiful skin I’m in… is gone

Now all you can ever see

Are the grimy, slimy, workings of me.

This inexplicable desire to share

Makes me in-human

So please beware.

I will spill my guts on the floor

You’ll want less because I give more.

It doesn’t pour but it will always rain

When you show the world your inner pain.

(c) Slumpless

 

 

 

Grow Up

Don’t make our life together seem mundane

Just because your friends paint their walls black

And ours are eggshell blue.

Don’t make me feel like I’m a bore

Because your friends smoke weed all day

While I sit at a desk and type.

I could just as easily stop you know.

I could wear baggy trousers and braid my hair.

Pop pills for breakfast and acid for tea.

I blame the movies. That romantic hue

That colors everything they do.

Makes it seem dreamy, makes us seem dim

Dreary. Dreary. That’s how you see us now.

Go live your dreams then. Go open a brewery.

Wear a t-shirt with your favorite band.

Cartwheel in the sand.

Laugh at stupid jokes from stupid smokes

Frozen in time while I move on.

It’s not that you are wrong

But then neither am I.

There has to be credit given for changing before you die.

I don’t want my children to wonder while

I have a glaze in my eyes and a faraway smile.

So yes I’m sorry I may not be as fun

To me it’s more important to be mum.

(c) Slumpless