Funny

Half-ass Bad-ass

slumplessLeave a comment

hands-1031131_1920.jpg

You’re not really a rebel, are you?

With your skull tattoos and lost soul vibe.

You sit on a bike that you can’t  ride

You smoke pot all the time so you can’t drive.

You walk with a swagger but have no sway

Your ridiculous stories give you away

Your ‘live in the moment’ constant retort

Although you really do nothing of the sort.

You like heavy-metal fine.. ok

You over insist that you’re not ‘gay’

You’re mean though

I’ll give you that.

Shut me out of life

Make me feel like a twat.

You’re a rebel without a reason

I committed no crime or treason.

I wanted you and that was all

Your worst crime was to pretend to fall

You’re full of crap and rather crass

You’re really not a good.. bad-ass.

(c) Slumpless

Advertisements

It’s all been done before.

slumplessLeave a comment

thumbprint-693822_1920

I’m chronically in love with you.

” Every step you take, every move you make..”

Oh wait it’s all been done before?

Well this love hasn’t.

My love for you is a thumbprint.

My love for you is like the word that rhymes with orange.

No no not that it doesn’t exist!

Silly.

It’s sporange ( look it up- I  did)

My love for you is like sniffing glue ( I imagine)

It’s hit me in the face like that game. You know … Pie face.

Full throttle to the gob. Exciting. Funny. Runny.

I love you till the cows come home and get milked. Over and over.

Everyday.

I will love you after I sag  and before I rot

I will love you in the next world and all the worlds after.

It’s all been done before?

Yep. again and again and again.

Forever. Foralways. For me.

(To JJ)

(c) Slumpless

 

 

 

 

 

Judge Mental

slumplessLeave a comment

No. I wouldn't say I'm judgmental.Sorry.. what's that-You don't drink coffee -.jpg

No… I wouldn’t say I’m judgmental.

Sorry. What’s that?

You don’t drink coffee?

Wuss! 🙂

#sorrynotsorry

(c) Slumpless

Google

slumplessLeave a comment

googleGoogle:The perfect cure to ever thinking you have an original thought.(c) Slumpless (Or should I bother? – it’s already been done :D)

 

Anonywuss

slumplessLeave a comment

Anonywuss.jpg

‘What’s in a name?’

Shame. Shame.Shame.

I would be giving you the key to me

My thoughts would be censored

Tailored.

No it’s better this way.

No fame. No fuss.

I would rather be anonywuss.

(c)Slumpless

Tall Tales

slumplessLeave a comment

Tall Tales.jpg

Cinderella said she lost her shoe by ‘accident’

But she was no fool

She knew the prince adored her.

She had felt his arousal against her leg.

Snow white flirted with all the huntsmen

It got her stepmother’s back up

When she shagged them in the stables.

Hansel and Gretel were too close for comfort

Their parents didn’t know what to do.

They sent them to the old lady in the woods

Hoping for a cure.

But their lust for one another was unquenchable.

They killed her for trying to tear them apart.

Read between the lines.

Question everything.

The world is full of  tall tales

And we lap them up like children.

(c) Slumpless