Players

Thanks you guys

You have taught me well

This messing me around shit

Has given me Hell.

Will he reply ? Will he text?

What’s happening now ?

What happens next?

Thanks y’all for making me feel crazy

The last few years are somewhat hazy

Constant confusion , up and down moods

Wondering how anyone could be so rude?

But still I thank you

Because now you see

I too can be a player

Not just a playee.

This karma thing it really works

So lashings of gratitude to all you jerks.

(C) Slumpless

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Crazy Love 

Don’t press her buttons

Then tell her she’s crazy. 

Don’t let her do everything

Then make her feel lazy.

Don’t make her cry

Then call her a moan

Don’t not listen

Then wonder why she groans.

Don’t shut her out 

Then ask her why she pouts.

Don’t be a dick

And watch that mean mouth.

Don’t call her a bitch

When she won’t have sex

Don’t not call her 

And wonder why she’s vexed.

So many don’t s 

So much to remember

But don’t worry if you can’t

She ‘ll be gone by December

(C)Slumpless

Tinkle

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You’re missing a ‘W’ in everything you do

Ork, ant, ill

I can never be your ‘ife’

With just a tinkle in your life.

(c) Slumpless

 

It’s all been done before.

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I’m chronically in love with you.

” Every step you take, every move you make..”

Oh wait it’s all been done before?

Well this love hasn’t.

My love for you is a thumbprint.

My love for you is like the word that rhymes with orange.

No no not that it doesn’t exist!

Silly.

It’s sporange ( look it up- I  did)

My love for you is like sniffing glue ( I imagine)

It’s hit me in the face like that game. You know … Pie face.

Full throttle to the gob. Exciting. Funny. Runny.

I love you till the cows come home and get milked. Over and over.

Everyday.

I will love you after I sag  and before I rot

I will love you in the next world and all the worlds after.

It’s all been done before?

Yep. again and again and again.

Forever. Foralways. For me.

(To JJ)

(c) Slumpless

 

 

 

 

 

Limp

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You’re tiring of me

Quick as quick

I can already feel the limpness in your dick.

What a pity. What a shame.

The fire between us , isn’t eternal flame.

So, so sad. So, so tragic.

That I can no longer work my magic.

‘Treat you mean and keep you keen’?

A kick to the guts? A jab to spleen?

Must I really become a shard

In order for you to get hard?

Screw it. Let this thing end

Before we are no longer friends.

(c) Slumpless

Half-ass Bad-ass

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You’re not really a rebel, are you?

With your skull tattoos and lost soul vibe.

You sit on a bike that you can’t  ride

You smoke pot all the time so you can’t drive.

You walk with a swagger but have no sway

Your ridiculous stories give you away

Your ‘live in the moment’ constant retort

Although you really do nothing of the sort.

You like heavy-metal fine.. ok

You over insist that you’re not ‘gay’

You’re mean though

I’ll give you that.

Shut me out of life

Make me feel like a twat.

You’re a rebel without a reason

I committed no crime or treason.

I wanted you and that was all

Your worst crime was to pretend to fall

You’re full of crap and rather crass

You’re really not a good.. bad-ass.

(c) Slumpless

Judge Mental

No. I wouldn't say I'm judgmental.Sorry.. what's that-You don't drink coffee -.jpg

No… I wouldn’t say I’m judgmental.

Sorry. What’s that?

You don’t drink coffee?

Wuss! 🙂

#sorrynotsorry

(c) Slumpless