Don’t press her buttons
Then tell her she’s crazy.
Don’t let her do everything
Then make her feel lazy.
Don’t make her cry
Then call her a moan
Don’t not listen
Then wonder why she groans.
Don’t shut her out
Then ask her why she pouts.
Don’t be a dick
And watch that mean mouth.
Don’t call her a bitch
When she won’t have sex
Don’t not call her
And wonder why she’s vexed.
So many don’t s
So much to remember
But don’t worry if you can’t
She ‘ll be gone by December
(C)Slumpless
I’m all misinformed and misaligned
These bones and thoughts just will not bind
This shell I’m in, just doesn’t go
With all the true things I know
My world is small because of my face
This misguided generation, this judging race
All they see are thinner lips
Uneven teeth … lumpy hips
What do they want ?
Are they insane?
To continue to ignore my wonderful brain !
Ok so it’s it’s not that amazing
I’m no Einstein
But give me a chance.
Give me time.
Don’t swipe left, give me a go
I’m amazing in bed for all you know.
Ok I’m not but you won’t find out
If you base your assessment on a glossy pout.
A sign that I care and am really me
Is that I’m not always taking a selfie
I’m out actually enjoying the fresh air
Instead of wondering about my hair.
So yes, the looks are what draw you in
But in a month your eyes will look within
So skip to me, I’m worth a shot
I promise I’ll give you all I got
(C) Slumpless
I’m sure that we diddle
I’m sure that we jig
This giddy nation of drinkers
Isn’t that what you think ?
Look closer my friends
And you will all know it
We are a nation of thinkers
A flock of mad poets.
This drunken haze is just a play
To help some of us through the day.
We have tales of warriors and faerie child
Beckett, Yeats and Oscar Wilde
So don’t dismiss us as Leprechauns of old
Or we’ll hit you on the head with our pots of gold.
(C) Slumpless
Thanks you guys
You have taught me well
This messing me around shit
Has given me Hell.
Will he reply ? Will he text?
What’s happening now ?
What happens next?
Thanks y’all for making me feel crazy
The last few years are somewhat hazy
Constant confusion , up and down moods
Wondering how anyone could be so rude?
But still I thank you
Because now you see
I too can be a player
Not just a playee.
This karma thing it really works
So lashings of gratitude to all you jerks.
(C) Slumpless
You’re missing a ‘W’ in everything you do
Ork, ant, ill
I can never be your ‘ife’
With just a tinkle in your life.
(c) Slumpless
I’m chronically in love with you.
” Every step you take, every move you make..”
Oh wait it’s all been done before?
Well this love hasn’t.
My love for you is a thumbprint.
My love for you is like the word that rhymes with orange.
No no not that it doesn’t exist!
Silly.
It’s sporange ( look it up- I did)
My love for you is like sniffing glue ( I imagine)
It’s hit me in the face like that game. You know … Pie face.
Full throttle to the gob. Exciting. Funny. Runny.
I love you till the cows come home and get milked. Over and over.
Everyday.
I will love you after I sag and before I rot
I will love you in the next world and all the worlds after.
It’s all been done before?
Yep. again and again and again.
Forever. Foralways. For me.
(To JJ)
(c) Slumpless
You’re tiring of me
Quick as quick
I can already feel the limpness in your dick.
What a pity. What a shame.
The fire between us , isn’t eternal flame.
So, so sad. So, so tragic.
That I can no longer work my magic.
‘Treat you mean and keep you keen’?
A kick to the guts? A jab to spleen?
Must I really become a shard
In order for you to get hard?
Screw it. Let this thing end
Before we are no longer friends.
(c) Slumpless
