Bigger than me

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I lost her to the sea

To something bigger than me

To a pull that would never leave her standing

To a depth that knows no landing

No end. No end.

This pain. This pain.

I’ve lost her to the waves to the roar

To the shipwreck at their shore

I’ve lost my maiden I’ve lost her well

To that navy blue ominous swell.

(c) Slumpless

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Self-flagellation

I’m a lost cause 

The same mistakes over and over

Addicted to the error

Flagellated by the outcome

Just for a taste of sublime wrong

I sing old songs

I get on my own nerves

So I suppose I deserve this

All of this.

And yet maybe I’m making small changes each time

To the words. To the rhyme.

Enough so that I can live with myself.

And maybe all these little changes

Will alter the big picture

And my mistakes will stand up tall and will no longer quiver

And there will come a day when I won’t consider them flaws when I will hit pause and see

That all these things are just part of me

And that the whip I use to beat myself

Is not made of leather but only words

But oh those words can sting

They can cause such harm

Built of old ways and old fears

Ancient rivers sodden with tears.

Tears that no longer run true

But still manage to soak

To turn me into sop.

To muddled mess with dying fish floating at the surface.

I need to set myself free. I need to run to sea.

To disperse into bigger things

To lose my concentration.

Then maybe if I really don’t over think.

I will float instead of …

(C)Slumpless

Black Lips

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My fermenting thoughts, turned you to wine.

Better than grape but not as sweet

Warbling like a stream through my pretty veins

Making me babble like a brook

Black lips, giving you away.

Giving me away.

And though I swirl you about my mouth

I never spit you out.

(c) Slumpless

Junk in my trunk

Clunkety-clunk. Clunkety-clunk.

That’s the sound of my heart ever since you left.

It heaves as it tries to beat , it splutters and stalls.

Every pump it makes, rattles my bones

Sets my teeth on edge.

I’m running out of fuel.

No air in my tyres.

Here’s to all you liars. 

Here’s to all your lies.

I guess I’ve got baggage from here on in.

Clunkety-clunk. Clunkety-clunk.

 Plenty of junk in my once empty trunk.

(C) Slumpless

IVY

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I will never tire of you, just as you are

Sublime perfection, shining in the soft sunshine.

But I can already feel you wilting..tilting towards other flowers

And I have always been ivy

Climbing the walls,

Clinging too tight.

Needing to be ‘cut back’.

They don’t say ‘Ivy power’ do they ?

No.

You hold all the cards petal.

And soon the light will fade.

But where you need heat

I survive in the shade.

(c) Slumpless

Moral Low Ground

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And I’m mostly good ..mostly kind

But with you and because of you

I have dabbled in bold

Submerged my clean slate in mud

Oh but for those moments of bliss and shakes

Will I spend eternity with the snakes?

And if  I believe in God will She forgive me?

Why should She though?

I knew it was wrong.

But She gave me these earthly wants

I mean She pushed us together didn’t She?

And who did we really harm?

Is that the point?

Better the devil you know

But she doesn’t know.

She doesn’t know.

I do.

(c) Slumpless

FeelineĀ 

And nobody mourned her death

Except for a single white rose that bobbed in the wind

And from the corner of my eye reminded me of her return in the morning

Soft and cautious on the gravel

Her miaow catching the wind

Her little soul my only companion on many a rainy day.

(C) Slumpless