A Room Without a Door

It's not just one you see-All the things that led us hereA million ways we can go wrongOr right. (1).jpg

There’s a long luscious list of reasons we should

But a jagged emporium of poisonous consequences

Jars upon jars upon shelves upon walls

Filled with outcomes. Black outcomes.

They swirl around like mini-galaxies

Holding us both hostage to our decisions.

It’s not just one you see?

All the things that led us here

A million ways we can go wrong

Or right.

Let’s sit here for a while. On the safe floor.

In the room without a door.

Where the only way out

Is in…..

Us

(c) Slumpless

 

Na Na Narcissist

There’s a word for someone like you
But I haven’t found it yet
What you are is not in my vocabulary
I was never taught the rules by which you play
The map by which you live
There’s a word for you, there has to be
I’m not sure what it is
As I’m not sure what you are.
There’s a whisper on the wind since the first time we kissed
Nar… Nar… Narcissist.

(C) Slumpless

Book Smart

I remember everything.

Everything you said

Over and over in my head

Like a gramophone gone rogue

I would be highly accomplished were you an encyclopedia

I could recite you back to front

Instead I hold the secrets of you quiet

Let them burn holes in my pockets

I am wealthy with you

Loaded with the jewels of your soul

I have read the lines on your skin a million times.

Then why do I feel so stupid ?

(C)Slumpless

Crazy LoveĀ 

Don’t press her buttons

Then tell her she’s crazy. 

Don’t let her do everything

Then make her feel lazy.

Don’t make her cry

Then call her a moan

Don’t not listen

Then wonder why she groans.

Don’t shut her out 

Then ask her why she pouts.

Don’t be a dick

And watch that mean mouth.

Don’t call her a bitch

When she won’t have sex

Don’t not call her 

And wonder why she’s vexed.

So many don’t s 

So much to remember

But don’t worry if you can’t

She ‘ll be gone by December

(C)Slumpless

Without

I mourn the flesh of her
The weighty warmth of smooth limbs on my back
The delicate scent of hair in my mouth.
I miss the teeth of her.
The laugh she kept for me
The languid repose of her on a Sunday morning.
I miss her mind of course
But it is the flesh of her that leaves its searing emptiness in my soul.
I hug a pillow but it gives beneath my touch
And it is cold.
I wonder is she cold too ?
I close my eyes but all I see is bone. Bones.
The smooth skin going,going. Gone.
It’s all wrong. Without her.
Why do my lungs not give up ?
I think my heart has.

(C) Slumpless

No Contact. (Narcissists)

I know you stranger.
I know the danger.
I see it in a million things you do
A glassy gloam to the eye
When anybody else is talking.
I’d swear you’re in hibernate mode.
You act it well though…
Being human.
You nearly had us convinced.
And the tears when you’re found out ?
Well our hearts are not made of stone.
Still though our brains have learned the hard way.
We now protect.
We make up for what you lacked.
No contact….No contact. …No!

(C) Slumpless

Die section

I found perturbed slumber in between the craggy folds of an old blanket
Nestled into a dark room wishing it were smaller.
Only a cocoon would do the trick ,
Tighten around me and let me rest while I grew and changed.

Instead I settle for fitful sleep
Where all the lies you ever told
Make me see there was no baseline with you.
“Hello”, could mean anything.
The intent of your very smile
Will keep me wondering.
But only for a while.
I squandered my dreams on you already
And it’s giving me no good answer, no peace.
So I make my own.
No need for you to explain.
I understand more than you think
And I think more than you can ever understand.
I know what you are. Not of my earth or air.
I would dissect you further but I really don’t care.

(C)Slumpless

Lost

I carried marbles when I was with you
I held tiny , the worlds that I should have lived
But when I let go and they scattered
I wasn’t empty. I wasn’t shattered.
I watched each roll about its shiny way
And I knew I would be ok
I hadn’t lost my marbles
I had set them free
Tiny worlds away from thee
Little spheres of perfect glass
To show me the insignificance of what did pass
There was never an us
Just you. Just me.
I didn’t lose my marbles
I set them free.
(C) Slumpless

Squeaking Heart

You have a squeak in your shoe
And it breaks my heart
I think maybe your feet are wet
And I imagine your cringe at every step.
Squeak.Squeak. Squeak.
The sound is deafening
And I wonder how your day must be going?
Squeak. Squeak.
It can only get better
Squelch.
(C) Slumpless

The Ending Story

I have a reckless soul
One that doesn’t know what’s good for the cage.
War and rage
Never end on a whimper
Always a clash.
Always a battle between
Flesh and beast.
No winners. Not me at least.
Or you.
I see our lives as infinite
A love that will never end
And you ?
You can’t even be friends.

It’s a hard sell to see it my way…

Maybe someday?

(C) Slumpless

Cut it out

One of these days I’ll learn to cut instead of hack
To pull instead of yank
To read the signs and run
Stop when it isn’t fun.

If he’s mean just let him loose.
Just do it. Do it. DO IT !!!

Instead I wait for a change
And in the process become deranged.
Push and poke until they cool
See me as nothing more than fool.
Maybe I need them to hate me
Maybe it’s the only way I’ll cut free.

Because if I love I can’t just stop

No matter how much you deserve the chop.

(C) Slumpless

Bled Blind

I wanted it all in a neat little box
Not scattered about like the remnants of a Christmas popper.
I wished to have dignity and be better this time
Not whine.

It’s all gone wrong you see?
There is no cellotape for this tear
No ribbon to make nice.
Nothing but ice.ice.

No baby.

It’s cold behind your back.
You block out all the sun.
But never mind , soon I will run.
I grow tired of trying to tidy
What am I really fighting for anyway ?
A shrug ? Another lie?
Why do I even try ?
Your veins were thick with it when I met you
I felt no fire.
You are nothing but vampire
And I have been bled blind.
(C) Slumpless