Don’t press her buttons
Then tell her she’s crazy.
Don’t let her do everything
Then make her feel lazy.
Don’t make her cry
Then call her a moan
Don’t not listen
Then wonder why she groans.
Don’t shut her out
Then ask her why she pouts.
Don’t be a dick
And watch that mean mouth.
Don’t call her a bitch
When she won’t have sex
Don’t not call her
And wonder why she’s vexed.
So many don’t s
So much to remember
But don’t worry if you can’t
She ‘ll be gone by December
I mourn the flesh of her
The weighty warmth of smooth limbs on my back
The delicate scent of hair in my mouth.
I miss the teeth of her.
The laugh she kept for me
The languid repose of her on a Sunday morning.
I miss her mind of course
But it is the flesh of her that leaves its searing emptiness in my soul.
I hug a pillow but it gives beneath my touch
And it is cold.
I wonder is she cold too ?
I close my eyes but all I see is bone. Bones.
The smooth skin going,going. Gone.
It’s all wrong. Without her.
Why do my lungs not give up ?
I think my heart has.
I know you stranger.
I know the danger.
I see it in a million things you do
A glassy gloam to the eye
When anybody else is talking.
I’d swear you’re in hibernate mode.
You act it well though…
You nearly had us convinced.
And the tears when you’re found out ?
Well our hearts are not made of stone.
Still though our brains have learned the hard way.
We now protect.
We make up for what you lacked.
No contact….No contact. …No!
I found perturbed slumber in between the craggy folds of an old blanket
Nestled into a dark room wishing it were smaller.
Only a cocoon would do the trick ,
Tighten around me and let me rest while I grew and changed.
Instead I settle for fitful sleep
Where all the lies you ever told
Make me see there was no baseline with you.
“Hello”, could mean anything.
The intent of your very smile
Will keep me wondering.
But only for a while.
I squandered my dreams on you already
And it’s giving me no good answer, no peace.
So I make my own.
No need for you to explain.
I understand more than you think
And I think more than you can ever understand.
I know what you are. Not of my earth or air.
I would dissect you further but I really don’t care.
I carried marbles when I was with you
I held tiny , the worlds that I should have lived
But when I let go and they scattered
I wasn’t empty. I wasn’t shattered.
I watched each roll about its shiny way
And I knew I would be ok
I hadn’t lost my marbles
I had set them free
Tiny worlds away from thee
Little spheres of perfect glass
To show me the insignificance of what did pass
There was never an us
Just you. Just me.
I didn’t lose my marbles
I set them free.
You have a squeak in your shoe
And it breaks my heart
I think maybe your feet are wet
And I imagine your cringe at every step.
The sound is deafening
And I wonder how your day must be going?
It can only get better
I have a reckless soul
One that doesn’t know what’s good for the cage.
War and rage
Never end on a whimper
Always a clash.
Always a battle between
Flesh and beast.
No winners. Not me at least.
I see our lives as infinite
A love that will never end
And you ?
You can’t even be friends.
It’s a hard sell to see it my way…