Sigh

I am all or nothing

And you gave me the latter

Like I didn’t matter.

Like I would wait with my tongue hanging loose

Your love a noose

Around this grateful neck.

I don’t do it by halves or quarters

Like a lamb to the slaughter

I go all in.

And there lies the rub

This eagerness you snub

Because you can’t believe it’s true

This love I had for you.

I am all or nothing.

And you gave me none

And it’s no longer fun.

But I’m not laughing now

Nor am I crying

I won’t be dying

For your half arsed look

I close the book.

I said it was forever and I really tried

I’m sorry I lied.

It’s not the Never-ending story

It’s much less glory

It started with a bang

And ends with a sigh

No screaming, no cry

I’ll keep on breathing

And this heart will beat on

For a love that is long gone.

(C) Slumpless

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Let me be better

A lie is an airbubble.
Small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things

But in my skin
It goes to the heart.
This beating ball of mush not muscle.

What does it feel like this toy ?
You play with its softness much too much
But a lump will form.
A callous from your callousness
Borne of things unsaid and left to fester in this tangled web of all the things I can only doubt.
I screamed once but now my blood is pooled and cooled and I can only whimper and even that is hushed.

“Oh well.” You said “That’s just the way I am.”
And I suppose I can’t blame the gun when I know it was made of others hands.
Let me not become your weapon.
Let me not shoot indiscriminately because I have been cut.
Bend the butt.
Turn inwards in retrospect and be better this time.
Be better.
(C) Slumpless

A word please

There’s a word but I cannot find it

For the things you do to me.

For the weaving, heaving breaths that you bestow

It’s on the tip of my tongue

Just like you.

A lick, a flick away.

There’s a word that I search for to understand

To make tangible even with only my mouth.

I’m sure if I try to utter it

It will fumble and tumble, rise and fall

Just like you. Just like me.

There’s a word made of a million kisses and slaps to the face

Of cracks to the heart

Then soothing embrace

There’s a word for you and me, for us.

There’s a word. There is.

But I cannot find it.

(C) Slumpless

Lifer

imprisoned-2066638_1920

I scrambled into the derelict halls of you

And wove through the scattered rubble of your heart

Siphoning blood in hopes that you would..

You might..

Never mind. I was going elsewhere

I was moving up

Your clavicle was my trampoline

Up up I soared

To the complex tunnels in your head

Wandering there instead

It’s heaven up here. And Hell.

Too much going on to tell

Do you love me ?Or am I insane

There are no clues in your busy brain

And now I’m lost in this terrible maze

Those horrible hours melding into days.

Then suddenly I find myself moving south

Lolling in your exquisite mouth

A sudden jerk , I feel a lunge

From your body I am expunged.

I lie in dribble on the floor

The mystery of you is no more

I saw your innards , I thought I was a lifer

But your thoughts I could not decipher

That time inside took its toll

I never made it to your soul

Perhaps it’s better never to find

What goes on in a lover’s mind.

(C) Slumpless

Wither

Does she move around on golden slippers?
Filigree patterns cast about the cobbles as she walks?
Is her hair sunrise ? Her eyes the chocolate we used to share ?
Do her fingers weave coloured threads for your bed
So that her skin touches only delicate cloth when you lay her down.
She must have silk for skin
And breasts made of pure ivory
Her lips must taste like fire
Her flesh the very amber you put on my ring.
She must be angel and devil’s breath
Cast in a mold of the purest gold.
Always young, never old
Pure of thoughts but also bold.
Why else have you left me Sir?
Why else do you dither?
She doth bloom while I must wither.
(C)Slumpless

Tower

You’re pushing me

One more inch and I’ll be over that wall…

Again.

One more pinch..

Another layer will form.

So do it if you dare.

Turn on me.

But when you look back

You will see nothing but a tower

And I won’t let down my hair.

(C) Slumpless

Blemish

blemish-2

I love you

But you’re blemish free

Too perfect for me

Too smooth, too soft

I look for broken skin because I live in the cracks

A mole.

But there is no shelter for me on your porcelain cover

Nowhere to hide, no freckle to make me safe

And though I strove for perfection

I realise now it has no colour .

(c)Slumpless