And I forgot you Or rather, my skin did And that was what my mind needed too To not need you. There were no longer welts of desire on my breasts It's all for the best I suppose. Who knows ? Me. I do. I knew. I do feel lighter..brighter And I wonder how I could have ever let myself become so weak? Bleak. Those languid, legs of yours Draped over mine. Drinking wine. As if you really wanted to own me Phoney. Fake. Take. Take. Break. I thought I was in control. but I lost my soul All the things that gave me joy Abandoned for a boy. A toy. A thief. Because you stole from me. You did. Every last quid. Every piece of gold that made me bold. Then you handed out crumbs to a starving heart. Knowing I would play the part. Dangle Trying to wrangle Food from your palms. Morsels of loving goodness that I would lap up like a cat. But there was no love. Just game. I was another name. Another crazy girl. Because that's what you'll tell the next one As I beg for you to keep me in your life. You'll roll you eyes at her about how lame I am. And she'll laugh a little.Nervously like I did. She'll wonder. Ponder. But only for a minute Because you won't let her think. Not for a second. You will smother her with your weighty arms All those little love charms. And by the time the truth hits her ears There will be too many tears. Anyway it all comes out in the end. And that's when you run. No more fun. Not when we all see you for what you do.. Oh but the return to peace from pieces Is worth the hiss. The calm bliss of a mind not tormented by a million questions To which you shrugged. The worst part is that I thought I had no limits. No quits. That I was the definition of a masochist. I couldn't be a heroine ? Addict. Addicted. To you. But suddenly it stopped. You dropped like a bag of stones. Bones. Off my radar you went. When you had spent me. And I guess I'm glad. Because I don't feel sad. I feel nothing. Nothing. I was after all. Nothing. To you. (c) Slumpless
It wasn’t just the salt on my skin
The golden shimmer on the rippling shore
It wasn’t my immersion into cool sloshing waves
Nor the sweet grip of the tide on my back.
I lay, bobbing on the ever changing surface
And felt the swell take over me.
It wasn’t just the swimming
It was the giving of myself to a power greater than my limbs could fathom
The surrender to a pull that knows no end
Ruled by moon perhaps but I prefer the tilting theory
A basin tipped by a whirling sphere
A sphere tipped by an unknow hand.
So I dove under.
Forgot the orange peel that had beached me for years
The uneven tone of a too many wobbling folds.
I swam. I swam. I swam.
I was mermaid for a day until the dusky touch of a falling sun
Beckoned me back to shore.
I can’t hope to catch the stars
Their jagged edges would cut through my net
And then what ?
To have but for a moment
But then for it to go?
How could my feet touch soil
My hands and body toil
Day after mutinous day
When my light had gone away?
I won’t lie in the gutter and look at the stars
I will hold the moon
Swing like a baboon.
I will not search for heaven on earth
Magic ends at birth
I will strap myself to comet
Whirl and soar and bathe in whispy galaxy
I will be part of the dream
Rather than the sleep
I will become the starlight
While you below shall weep.
You make me interesting.
I remember things I never used to.
Little slivers of pointless information
That you lap up.
All my quirks can be displayed
Until the right moment
And I’m all new to you again.
There’s so much of me I want to give
And for once I feel like a well
Spluttering forth crystal drops
Of something that restores you.
Makes you whole.
I am only like this with you
You show up the invisible ink in me
The words that others don’t see
You use your fingertips… your tongue
Your lovely mouth whips me into a frenzy
I’m soaring above new clouds
That are fluffier than the last
Is it too fast?
I don’t care.
Because with you, I do.
I don’t have time to plant flowers
Or paint my kitchen blue
I don’t have the patience to bake a cake
I’m too busy to take a bath.
I realised then you absorb colour
From the world. From me.
I gave it out without a thought.
These little pleasures came easy
The smell of coffee in the morning
Candles late at night
These things were scaffolding for my fragile senses
They keep the grey at bay
But for you the world was made of sturdier stuff
And you had no need for sculpted glass.
I’m not saying you’re crass but you’re not as gentle as I thought.
So I will keep filling this world with rainbows
But you won’t find my gold.
Is not a casual fling.
Not for me.
I’ll make you see. I will make you love me.
I want the bones of you.
The sleepy iridescent pools of blue
The moving tides of your beautiful blood.
The bad. The good,
I want the unfurling, uncurling length and breadth of you.
I will make you love me.
This heat of mine can’t help but yearn.
It will singe the sockets and pockets of your soul.
I’m more than whore. Isn’t everyone?
You already like me a little.
You’ve already given an inch ..inches.
But in a while .. I’ll get the mile.