Stop

Stop. I need to stop.

When my heart steals away in the night

Time travelling back to your hands in my hair

Stop.

I need to quench this thirst for memories

I am laden down with heavy baskets full of the past.

How can I move when every finger is weighed down?

I trudge through the days without you.

And I think I must have seen myself back then when you held me in the night.

I’m pretty sure it was me , sitting in corner looking sad.

Stop.

But how do I do it ?

Learn, when all I do is yearn ?

Smile without wincing?

Is there a potion made to numb ?

Now I understand gin.

You win.

I’m glass and always was and you’re the stone that landed in this vessel.

Tomorrow is another day..

Without you.

(C) Slumpless

Deeper

Dig deep you sad little thing

Find that flutter, buried under hard concrete.

Deeper. Deeper.

It’s in there… somewhere.

What does it take, to make the earth shake ?

For you ?

Is it fire that gets you going

Or do prefer ice ?

You’ve forgotten I know

We all do.

So keep digging my friend.

Keep going through rock, sand and shale

You might fail. Or you might find seed

The one that needs the light.

The one you thought was dead.

The one buried in a hole.

Deep. Deep within your soul.

(C) Slumpless

When the air cools

When the air cools and you feel the pull

Of other fingers on your hair

When my soft whispers no longer lull you to sleep

And your warm stomach no longer nestles into my back

When all the things I thought were true

When you had me and I was new

All of those little loves.

Still scaffold the bones of me.

So please. Please. Please

Be kinder dear. Be kind.

You have hit fast forward

While I still rewind.

Be gentle on this fragile thing

Remember, you once made it sing

She might seem shiny and full of life

The potential to be a perfect wife

But I shone too… at the start

Before you stomped on my living heart.

(C) Slumpless

Alien Ways

I’m diluted by all the opinions I seek

Looking for approval makes me weak.

Who am I really when no one is around?

I’m a blurry mess right now

A pulled pork.

Scratching. Scratching. Scratchings.

I hunt for enlightenment in black holes.

Suck. Sucking. Sucked in.

Nobody gives me the right answer.

Does that mean I’m wrong ?

Or does it mean I’m different ?

Not in a black coat, dark eyeshadow kind of way

But truly alien, from another world.

I know it sounds absurd.

But I don’t want what they want

I have bigger eyes. A bigger head.

Five fingers maybe… but still ..but still

So now I am resolved

To no longer be dissolved

To stay true to my own matter

Block out the pointless chatter

I’ll put the Extra into ET.

Stop waiting for others to agree.

If I really am from another sphere

I’ll make the most of my time here.

(C) Slumpless

Soft And Sad 

I will follow you like a whimper

Soft and sad. Slobbering on your shoulder.

You hate the way my nostrils flare 

The way my face puffs when I cry

I’m a useless jelly

A wobbling mass

“Silly Billy.Silly Billy.”

You say it with no hint of light

No glint of love. 

You have nothing else to say.
And I have nowhere else to go.

(C) Slumpless

Unfurling

womens-2359634_1920
I broke the corners of my soul 
And gave you those lonely edges
They tasted like me you said
Mostly good but tainted with need.
'Is that bad?' I said.
'Needing?'
You laughed.
'It will be your undoing.'
You were right of course.
And as I unfurl the remainder of my curled up love
I see it is blackened by our plight.
(c) Slumpless

Wrist watch

hand-1838346_1920.jpg

I lay on my back ,

Half today , half shadow-lands

A tiny man appeared on my wrist.

He dug at the veins with purpose, as he would a field

His tiny brow furrowed, his miniature overalls covered in blood.

What was he searching for ?

Every pick of his perfect axe

Was in time with my beating heart

And the tiny sway of my hairs

Were like corn in the breeze.

I could smell rain in the air and sighed.

As tears ran down my cheeks.

He looked up and stopped

‘There’s a storm coming.’ He whispered.

To me? To  the sky?

‘There’s a storm coming and you are going to die.’

(c) Slumpless

 

 

The ‘Real’ Me

night-1909617_1280

‘I’m great thanks, I really think I have a handle on it, this time.’

I smiled and hoped she wouldn’t see the lack of twinkle in my eye

The lack of soul. It had gone away for the day.

Nothing happening here.

I was a shell on a chair.

All I could do was stare.

She has pity and I feel shitty.

I don’t want to seem weak… bleak.

I only give the tip of the berg

But there are mountains in this deep sea

To get to the real me.

Unexplored and dark.

Better leave it alone.

Don’t you think ?

Better not to sink.

Stay afloat. Stay afloat.

‘I’m fine thanks’.

What a beautiful cloak those words are.

I nestle into them well.

But underneath I’m naked.

(c) Slumpless

Livewire

‘Oh you’re a wiry one’

She would say this without malice but the words hurt all the same.

Did she mean sharp? I have a sharp tongue I’m told and it slices strips off you.

Maybe she meant that I could never sit still

That there was a tremor in my blood

Electricity always running through my core

Well I tell you, I’m electric no more.

‘Is there a pulse?’ I hear this in the distance but all I see is her face and slow thud of my heart fading.

‘ A wiry one’. I smile inside.

I’ll ask her what she meant.

(C) Slumpless 

Extra Ordinary

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Wow who knew? I do have superpowers after all!

With a mere flick of my wrist and a dab of extra butter and cheese

I can become completely invisible!

The guy didn’t hold the door for me.

The boy in the shop didn’t try to converse.

They don’t stare anymore.

The men. The women.

They don’t stare.

I used to hate it.

Used to turn beet red.

But now I have an invisibility cloak

And although I try to shrug it off.

It weighs heavily on me.

But what’s worse.

Is the reverse.

I see the ‘fat guy’ with new eyes

He too is in disguise.

(c) Slumpless

 

Practically Perfect

woman-1771895_1920Her skin was perfect… pristine.

I imagined her having sex.

Perfect and perfunctory..

Boring.

There would be no wobble.

No bounce.

She would be loud from the throat but not the gut.

Did she sweat I wondered?

Probably not.

She sipped on water and chewed on lettuce.

How sad I thought.

Poor rabbit.

I turned away to gaze at the ducks.

Calm on the surface.

She seemed stagnant to the core.

A child tripped over, sprawled on the floor.

Miss perfect’s lips turned up at the edges.

A splendid,slow sneer,slithered across her face.

I saw malice in those cerulean blues

And felt a chill in my blood.

And pity.So much pity

For a world that trusts perfection.

(c) Slumpless

 

Funeral

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‘He was in love with you.. did you know that?’

It’s too late now. Too late.

What can I do ?

Look back at all the gazes

All those confusing moments

I thought I had imagined them all

That I had been the only one to fall.

‘no one knew it except me. He was afraid .. you see?’

He was afraid and so was I

It’s too late now to even cry.

I am silent now as they put you in the ground.

Nothing but my heart making a sound.

It’s beating right out of chest

As your lovely body is laid to rest.

Now all I can think about is that day

When you were supposed to meet me

But you didn’t.

And I never called you again.

(c)Slumpless