Bit by Bit

Maybe I’m dead already

I feel you walking on my grave

I shout and scream but no one hears

No one cares.

I’m a corpse among the living

But not the pretty sugar skull, kind.

I’m ignored. Muted. Paused.

Can anyone hear me ? Anyone ?

When did it happen ?

When was my last laugh ? My last guttural outburst?

It’s all dampened down now.

Hush. Hush. Hush.

No matter how hard I dance for you all

I feel you have written me off

Bit by bit by obituary.



Tummy Truths

Listen to your guts

Those wrenching, clenching, squelching knots they make.

They’re telling you something,

You may not want to hear.

I doubted their bubbling ways.

Told myself that all was well

That memories are just playing with bile

But all the while

They knew your untruths.

You lied to my face and it believed you

But my entrails are less naive.

So next time I hear that rumble

I won’t mistake it for thunder

But I will know a storm is coming.



I thought we had movie love

The kiss in the rain feel no pain kind

Run down the streets shouting my name

Fight monsters and beasts

Just to see me.

But no ever-after, for us .

Ours is the tragic kind

The one you wish you could rewind

Less flame more fog

The sad, silent type of film

And I’m not sure if you’re speaking

Or if I need subtitles

And it’s all just too much to watch

I want to look away

But my eyes are glued to this scene

Will it ever end ?

Reeling.Reeling. I’m reeling.


(C) Slumpless


You took down the fairylights

And I didn’t know what to say.

How could I explain to you the need for those little buds of soft glowing light ?

And I don’t say ‘need’ lightly.

You know this time of year is hard for me

You know the opaque clouds that fill the sky ?

Well they fill me too.

Those lights were my solace

A twinkle in the drab grey that permeates every cavity of this godforsaken soul.

But you bundled them up tightly and put them away

They made the place look messy

But I’m the one who is here all day

Don’t I have a say ?

Don’t take away my light

Don’t leave me in the dark

There is a cold wind howling

And a shadow at the door.

(C) Slumpless

Too Muchness

You’re very aware of your “too muchness” He said.

“Much too much” I replied

I’m much too emotional

Much too intense

Much too mad

Much too sad

It’s all too much you know ?

But for who ? For me ? For you?

What about too less ? Isn’t that worse ?

Much more of a curse?

I suppose he’s right.

I suppose more is better

Then why do I feel less ?


Little pleasure

I don’t have time to plant flowers

Or paint my kitchen blue

I don’t have the patience to bake a cake

I’m too busy to take a bath.

I realised then you absorb colour

From the world. From me.

I gave it out without a thought.

These little pleasures came easy

The smell of coffee in the morning

Candles late at night

These things were scaffolding for my fragile senses

They keep the grey at bay

But for you the world was made of sturdier stuff

And you had no need for sculpted glass.

I’m not saying you’re crass but you’re not as gentle as I thought.

So I will keep filling this world with rainbows

But you won’t find my gold.

(C) Slumpless

You Planted Flowers

You planted flowers.

There was nothing but concrete and grey

God that grey. Suffocating. Stifling grey.

And wretched looking people and their wretched looking pets

Littered sidewalks

Another siren in the distance.

But you planted flowers.

And I was on the bus

And though you don’t know me

I feel somehow you do.

So please keep them watered

Because it matters .

It matters to me.

(C) Slumpless