Did you wear yellow to fool me?
“Quirky” you with your bright,effervescent smile.
Your dimples hinted at endless laughter
A gurgling brook sourced at heaven.
And your sparkling eyes were jewels to my vapid heart.
Did you giggle because you knew it tickled me.
Were your jokes even your own?
How can you look like an angel and sound like one
Then turn around and do what you do ?
Nature’s trick is what I call you.
An April fool for every day of the year.
You wear yellow and smile like a child
But there is only black on your brush
And I let you paint all over me.(C)Slumpless
I am all or nothing
And you gave me the latter
Like I didn’t matter.
Like I would wait with my tongue hanging loose
Your love a noose
Around this grateful neck.
I don’t do it by halves or quarters
Like a lamb to the slaughter
I go all in.
And there lies the rub
This eagerness you snub
Because you can’t believe it’s true
This love I had for you.
I am all or nothing.
And you gave me none
And it’s no longer fun.
But I’m not laughing now
Nor am I crying
I won’t be dying
For your half arsed look
I close the book.
I said it was forever and I really tried
I’m sorry I lied.
It’s not the Never-ending story
It’s much less glory
It started with a bang
And ends with a sigh
No screaming, no cry
I’ll keep on breathing
And this heart will beat on
For a love that is long gone.
Your looks will fade my love
And all the endless preening will come to naught
I was once like you
In other flames, my comfort sought
I let my fire dwindle while I stoked theirs.
And danced like a dervish and whirled through their stares.
Slow it was, the creeping decay
Which turned copper to rust
Grass to hay.
Until one day they looked no more.
And my inner workings were merely gore.
Left uncared for … my brain did rot
And thus it is….my unhappy lot.
So dance my pretty
I’m not saying no
But keep your inner fire burning
Because your looks will go.
Originally posted May 2017.
You make me mean. Unclean.
I want to wash off the hateful things I say
Make them go away.
You bring out my demons. The ones I hold inside
The ones I successfully hide.
From everyone. But you.
You are a poultice on this ravaged heart.
Right from the very start.
I know you. I know you well.
You are my hell.
Only because we’re cut from the same dough.
The same heart. The same head.
We’re both gingerbread.
Except it’s not the crocodile that eats us.
We eat each other up whole.
Heart to soul.
I’m better with just a whisper of you in my life
The feint tinge of your delicious breath on my neck
Any more of your air and I don’t care
About me. About them.
Just a whisper of potential is the carrot to my donkey brain
Stops me going insane.
Too much of you is a gas chamber
A clamber to get out.
The overwhelming sensation of being overcome.
So don’t shout. Don’t talk.
But if you must.
Whisper. Whisper. Whisp…
There’s a word but I cannot find it
For the things you do to me.
For the weaving, heaving breaths that you bestow
It’s on the tip of my tongue
Just like you.
A lick, a flick away.
There’s a word that I search for to understand
To make tangible even with only my mouth.
I’m sure if I try to utter it
It will fumble and tumble, rise and fall
Just like you. Just like me.
There’s a word made of a million kisses and slaps to the face
Of cracks to the heart
Then soothing embrace
There’s a word for you and me, for us.
There’s a word. There is.
But I cannot find it.
“And which did you love the most?”They say
While I lie on my death bed this Autumn day
“I loved them all.” I do reply
“Although it changed, it didn’t die.
I loved his eyes , the other’s hair
Each had their own unique flair
They were all my loves they were all my souls
Filling needs and gaping holes
“But how can you share?”They always ask ?
“Is this not truly an impossible task?”
Impossible only because society made it so
One must come the other go
If I could have had them all I would
It doesn’t mean I’m up to no good
This regret that I let each one away
Because “sharing love is not ok”
I wish.. I wish, I kept them all
Because I think it is possible to fall
For not just one soul but a whole lot more
This does not make me a heartless whore!
I love them all. I always will.
This beating heart is suddenly still
But this light inside that they all lit
Will never stop. Will never quit.
Now I’m free of this mortal coil
The rules up here are much less toil
I can love as many as I need
It’s seen as positive, not as greed
I can hold his hand while I hug the next
Nobody here seems perplexed
A woman is capable of great great things
None are tied to wedding rings
This loving art can seem quite daunting
But it makes me too busy for ghostly haunting
“Ah but tell the truth if you had to pick
Through hell and highwater through thin and thick
There must be one you love the most
while alive or now a ghost?”
Well yes I admit there’s one whose soul
Was closest to my very own
But I stand by the rest and urge you to consider
That this monogamous life is quite a hinder
All the cheating all the lies
Are unnecessary if one just tries
To be more open to other ways
Of loving humans throughout our days
So little by little it won’t be quick
Dismantle this construct brick by brick
If it doesn’t hurt , it doesn’t harm
Then really it shouldn’t cause such alarm
Don’t wait to die to open your heart
Do it now ,make a start.