Barnacles of guilt cling to my underbelly
Ugly protrusions that only I can see
They form the frame of me
This terrible guilt. This terrible guilt.
I wish. I wish. I wish I were a fish.
What’s the point of wishing ?
Better to go fishing.
I’m no ordinary vessel though
I’m tethered to the shore
Forever wanting more
The salty water is furrowing my bow
The seagulls laughing because I hold no plunder
No electricity here.
I hear whales singing or rather I feel it in my neck
My hull.my skull.
Echoes of all the wrongs I ever did
The ones I hid
They re the ones that stick
Gouge them off with a sharp blade ?
You think I haven’t tried?
Water laps at the edges of me. A little acid from a world gone mad for things that never fade.
Eroding my core. Reminding me I’m a wh….
The rope is taking longer to fray
Soon I’ll be a skeleton ship.
Tied at the hip.
Soon I’ll be a frame. Only a frame
With creatures chewing my brain.
Those barnacles though. Well they ‘ll just cling to some other thing. Something good.
Rock not wood.
I’m tossing and turning
Twisted in the memories of you
I just want to be alone so I can savor them
Flavor them with all my nuances.
You licked the core of me
As I read to you.
Your hands stroked me
Over and over like I was made of puppies.
And I think I wagged my tail
Just for your bone.
God I can’t stand not getting you
All the time .
Rapid breaths over and over.
Roll me. Knead me.
I need you.
Feast on moistened flesh
That rises and expands with heat.
I’m in hell until I see you
Again and again and again.
You’re missing a ‘W’ in everything you do
Ork, ant, ill
I can never be your ‘ife’
With just a tinkle in your life.
I’m chronically in love with you.
” Every step you take, every move you make..”
Oh wait it’s all been done before?
Well this love hasn’t.
My love for you is a thumbprint.
My love for you is like the word that rhymes with orange.
No no not that it doesn’t exist!
It’s sporange ( look it up- I did)
My love for you is like sniffing glue ( I imagine)
It’s hit me in the face like that game. You know … Pie face.
Full throttle to the gob. Exciting. Funny. Runny.
I love you till the cows come home and get milked. Over and over.
I will love you after I sag and before I rot
I will love you in the next world and all the worlds after.
It’s all been done before?
Yep. again and again and again.
Forever. Foralways. For me.
Did you notice when it finally quit?
Even just a little bit?
You must have felt a chill?
Maybe you were lighter around the shoulders
Springier of step?
When my love for you finally lapsed.
I know I felt lighter but no chill for me.
The heat I emitted was finally free.
To light my soul and eyes again
To stop its searching for an uninhabitable den.
Those months of wasted yearning
Those endless nights of fuel-less burning
Are over now. I will disarm
My love for you
Will no longer keep you warm.