I will put holes in your clouds
And trenches in your doubt
Today you will see that I want nothing but you.
You can do as you please
I’m on my knees.
I told you it was forever
But most people don’t mean it my way.
There’s no highway. No wave goodbye.
I am the air you cannot see
The dust that settles lightly on your shoes
Use. Use. Used.
I’m used to it.
So run and push.
There’s nowhere for you to go.
I am sand and snow.
Tree, bird, mamal, fish
Do as you wish.
My love will not be killed
Even if my blood is spilled.
I don’t know jealousy
I don’t know hate.
This is what it means to be my soul
So cry. Whimper. Laugh
You are half.
I am other.
Souls from the same Mother.
Cut from the same star.
Dig deep you sad little thing
Find that flutter, buried under hard concrete.
It’s in there… somewhere.
What does it take, to make the earth shake ?
For you ?
Is it fire that gets you going
Or do prefer ice ?
You’ve forgotten I know
We all do.
So keep digging my friend.
Keep going through rock, sand and shale
You might fail. Or you might find seed
The one that needs the light.
The one you thought was dead.
The one buried in a hole.
Deep. Deep within your soul.
There is a dampening of the senses now
The heat’s hefty weight, pulling liquid from my bones
The drip of a salty drop running down my spine
I’m clammy to the core
Laden down, waiting to evaporate.
I long for the cool brushes of an Autumn wind
For the gentle pummeling of leaves at my door
For my weary senses to dance in orange flame
To feel like I’m part of the game.
Not this. Not this. Not this.
There is nothing of me here
In scorched earth and dizzying mirage
But soon my friends I will hear the call
Of my kindred season
It wasn’t just the salt on my skin
The golden shimmer on the rippling shore
It wasn’t my immersion into cool sloshing waves
Nor the sweet grip of the tide on my back.
I lay, bobbing on the ever changing surface
And felt the swell take over me.
It wasn’t just the swimming
It was the giving of myself to a power greater than my limbs could fathom
The surrender to a pull that knows no end
Ruled by moon perhaps but I prefer the tilting theory
A basin tipped by a whirling sphere
A sphere tipped by an unknow hand.
So I dove under.
Forgot the orange peel that had beached me for years
The uneven tone of a too many wobbling folds.
I swam. I swam. I swam.
I was mermaid for a day until the dusky touch of a falling sun
Beckoned me back to shore.
I must have met Medusa
For a brief moment.
Enough to turn my heart to stone.
Those snakes in her hair
Each of them with their own wicked agenda
Each the root of the cause
A heart that never thaws.
I wrote them for you.
Some of my best work
But you’re not vain just blind
You didn’t think those songs were about you.
And though you felt the sentiments my words evoked
It wasn’t my face you saw
How cruel this world
You told me you were such a fan
And I wanted to say it back.
But I refuse to reveal my muse.
So I watched you dance around the room
A big silly smile on your face
And though my heart was breaking
Crumbling away little by little
My soul knew it was being fed
More melodies than I could ever wish for.
You planted flowers.
There was nothing but concrete and grey
God that grey. Suffocating. Stifling grey.
And wretched looking people and their wretched looking pets
Another siren in the distance.
But you planted flowers.
And I was on the bus
And though you don’t know me
I feel somehow you do.
So please keep them watered
Because it matters .
It matters to me.