The Rush

Who am I in this sad story ?

The pathetic character that swallows lies like they were made of gin ?

The third wheel in that overused triangle, where everyone is rooting for the other girl ?

Am I heroine or meth ?

Which has the happy ending?

But I must be a fool. I must.

Only a fool would keep going back to barbed wire

Keep touching fire

Yearning for a burning, a bite.

Maybe it’s venom that sustains me

Even though it pains me.

I like your hands around my neck

In between ecstasy and smack.

Keeps me on track. Or off.

Grass is better than tarmac.

I’ll keep running in circles either way.

The air around me pungent with your words.

All absurd

And sweet but not in equal measure

The good old pain/pleasure

The undulating pulse of your tongue.

Wringing.Wringing. Wrung.

Maybe I’m just vapour, a smoke

The joke.

A joint in your story.

A silly pause, where you rested your mouth

Before moving south.

I try to do my steps. To get you out of my system.

But when there is nothing but hush

All I remember is the rush.

(C)Slumpless

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Sedimentary Dear Watson

I will clear the sediment from my spleen

All the imperfect feelings that linger in my guts

I will filter through the muddy waters of my mouth

The raging tides of down south

I’ll clean the gutters of my unclean laugh

“It’s too raucous”, he said.

I’ll shave the bones of me

I will do anything to make him see

Something else other than me

I’ll be shiny and new

No black or blue. 

He won’t wonder about my past

Never be aghast

My cheery demeanor won’t let him ask

The silt like blood that courses through

Will pass through a sieve

Change from old to new

But where oh where, will all the waste go ?

Why my darling don’t you know ?

Sedimentary, Dear Watson. From dirt to rock.

The pieces of me that may cause shock.

(C) Slumpless

Bigger than me

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I lost her to the sea

To something bigger than me

To a pull that would never leave her standing

To a depth that knows no landing

No end. No end.

This pain. This pain.

I’ve lost her to the waves to the roar

To the shipwreck at their shore

I’ve lost my maiden I’ve lost her well

To that navy blue ominous swell.

(c) Slumpless

Self-flagellation

I’m a lost cause 

The same mistakes over and over

Addicted to the error

Flagellated by the outcome

Just for a taste of sublime wrong

I sing old songs

I get on my own nerves

So I suppose I deserve this

All of this.

And yet maybe I’m making small changes each time

To the words. To the rhyme.

Enough so that I can live with myself.

And maybe all these little changes

Will alter the big picture

And my mistakes will stand up tall and will no longer quiver

And there will come a day when I won’t consider them flaws when I will hit pause and see

That all these things are just part of me

And that the whip I use to beat myself

Is not made of leather but only words

But oh those words can sting

They can cause such harm

Built of old ways and old fears

Ancient rivers sodden with tears.

Tears that no longer run true

But still manage to soak

To turn me into sop.

To muddled mess with dying fish floating at the surface.

I need to set myself free. I need to run to sea.

To disperse into bigger things

To lose my concentration.

Then maybe if I really don’t over think.

I will float instead of …

(C)Slumpless

Black Lips

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My fermenting thoughts, turned you to wine.

Better than grape but not as sweet

Warbling like a stream through my pretty veins

Making me babble like a brook

Black lips, giving you away.

Giving me away.

And though I swirl you about my mouth

I never spit you out.

(c) Slumpless

Soft And Sad 

I will follow you like a whimper

Soft and sad. Slobbering on your shoulder.

You hate the way my nostrils flare 

The way my face puffs when I cry

I’m a useless jelly

A wobbling mass

“Silly Billy.Silly Billy.”

You say it with no hint of light

No glint of love. 

You have nothing else to say.
And I have nowhere else to go.

(C) Slumpless