The Essence of Me

Splatter. The blood dripped from my nose

Onto the white paper covered in words

And now the essence of me.

Folded into pages. The coursing part of me.

Is it real ? Are we brothers bound in blood ?

Can the tiny trail I leave behind

Serve to remind

The world of my existence ?

Will a girl read these pages and crinkle her nose?

As I crinkle mine to keep from overflowing.

Splatter. Splatter.

Do I matter ?

Blood on a page can last longer than in my veins.

Passed from hand to hand through the ages

Life on pages.

(C) Slumpless

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Knew Me

I had to be born again today.

Free myself of everything I thought I knew.

The net which I assumed would catch my fall

Was never there at all.

The arms that held me before I knew myself

Have turned to stone

I am well and truly alone.

As I hold my own flesh and blood

I am awake again.

I understand that there are no more excuses for their selfish maybes

I could never do this to my own baby.

Not now , not when he’s grown

I will never leave him on his own.

I guess I have to turn to other

When I can’t rely on my own…

I can’t even say it.

It hurts too much.

I am much too blue

The person I loved

I never knew.

(C) Slumpless

Brink

Oh life thank you

You saw I was down and decided to put your cosmic foot on my head.

Things weren’t bad enough

No I wasn’t calling your bluff!

Am I a Sims character in your game?

Are you fucking with me ?

Tune in to see me lose my mind?

Should be good.

Yes.. yes I made some bad choices

But I could do with more understanding voices

Not the judgy, preachy kind.. oh no

The ones who say “I told you so”.

Common world, give me a break

Stop giving me floods on top of earthquakes

Maybe there’s a lesson I’m supposed to learn

“You do something bad

In life you shall burn.”

I get it. I get it. Enough is enough.

Be kind to me world, don’t make it rough.

You don’t know the push that will make me cry

Another shove and I might die.

I’m not as strong as you all think

I’m edging dangerously close to the brink

But I still have an umbrella against the rain.

Some semblance of preservation against the pain.

But oh wait . Oh dear. Oh Hell no.

I can’t believe it’s starting to snow.

(C) Slumpless

Coffin girl

Can I offer you a coffin ?

There was nothing but sincerity in his tone.

‘I’m not quite ready for that ‘ I laughed

‘Oh but you are’. He said

You are already dead.

Dead ? What did he mean ?

I looked down at my hands

And saw nothing but bones

No smooth flesh no veins.

I was skeleton from tarsals to top.

Poor corpse. Poor corpse.

Running around pretending to be alive.

‘I ..I thought I had this covered, I didn’t think they knew.’

‘No my dear, it’s obvious you’re a corpse right through and through.’

(C) Slumpless

The Rush

Who am I in this sad story ?

The pathetic character that swallows lies like they were made of gin ?

The third wheel in that overused triangle, where everyone is rooting for the other girl ?

Am I heroine or meth ?

Which has the happy ending?

But I must be a fool. I must.

Only a fool would keep going back to barbed wire

Keep touching fire

Yearning for a burning, a bite.

Maybe it’s venom that sustains me

Even though it pains me.

I like your hands around my neck

In between ecstasy and smack.

Keeps me on track. Or off.

Grass is better than tarmac.

I’ll keep running in circles either way.

The air around me pungent with your words.

All absurd

And sweet but not in equal measure

The good old pain/pleasure

The undulating pulse of your tongue.

Wringing.Wringing. Wrung.

Maybe I’m just vapour, a smoke

The joke.

A joint in your story.

A silly pause, where you rested your mouth

Before moving south.

I try to do my steps. To get you out of my system.

But when there is nothing but hush

All I remember is the rush.

(C)Slumpless

Sedimentary Dear Watson

I will clear the sediment from my spleen

All the imperfect feelings that linger in my guts

I will filter through the muddy waters of my mouth

The raging tides of down south

I’ll clean the gutters of my unclean laugh

“It’s too raucous”, he said.

I’ll shave the bones of me

I will do anything to make him see

Something else other than me

I’ll be shiny and new

No black or blue. 

He won’t wonder about my past

Never be aghast

My cheery demeanor won’t let him ask

The silt like blood that courses through

Will pass through a sieve

Change from old to new

But where oh where, will all the waste go ?

Why my darling don’t you know ?

Sedimentary, Dear Watson. From dirt to rock.

The pieces of me that may cause shock.

(C) Slumpless