A trick of the light silly
When you thought you saw a halo
When you felt the piercing heat, smolder the bones of you.
Oh you knew it even then but you ignored the refracted value of the words that lit up your life.
And then when the clouds came
You feigned surprise as though you had forgotten your jacket not cast it aside.
I see goosebumps on your arms and shadows in your hair.
No it’s not fair.
Some can bend the rays to their own devices
While you are left in cold,cold slices.
Ham it up all you want.
Pretend you got a fright.
You knew it all along
The tricks of your delight.
Stop. I need to stop.
When my heart steals away in the night
Time travelling back to your hands in my hair
I need to quench this thirst for memories
I am laden down with heavy baskets full of the past.
How can I move when every finger is weighed down?
I trudge through the days without you.
And I think I must have seen myself back then when you held me in the night.
I’m pretty sure it was me , sitting in corner looking sad.
But how do I do it ?
Learn, when all I do is yearn ?
Smile without wincing?
Is there a potion made to numb ?
Now I understand gin.
I’m glass and always was and you’re the stone that landed in this vessel.
Tomorrow is another day..
This is a follow on from my previous poem “Add Bliss” . Oh how wrong was I 😀 !!
You can’t even give me two.
You emptied me out.
Gentle and slow.
I didn’t even know.
How could I ?
You’re a thief and sculpture.
Taking truth and shaping it so divine
I couldn’t help but pine..
I’m over you.
I tell myself this silly tale
As tall as what you told me.
But I’m not as good at fibs
And all I can do is cringe.
Over and over at my pathetic need
For you to miss. Miss. Miss me.
Remember our kisses ?
They’ve all turned to hisses.
No bliss. No bliss. Just blood.
When the air cools and you feel the pull
Of other fingers on your hair
When my soft whispers no longer lull you to sleep
And your warm stomach no longer nestles into my back
When all the things I thought were true
When you had me and I was new
All of those little loves.
Still scaffold the bones of me.
So please. Please. Please
Be kinder dear. Be kind.
You have hit fast forward
While I still rewind.
Be gentle on this fragile thing
Remember, you once made it sing
She might seem shiny and full of life
The potential to be a perfect wife
But I shone too… at the start
Before you stomped on my living heart.
I scared you off didn’t I?
This damned intensity
I can’t switch it off
Can’t hide the want. The need.
You all hate that. The greed.
Race. Run. Chase.
That’s better isn’t it ?
ISN’T IT ???
I feel a lessening in you already
Ready. Steady. Go.
You’ve already left.
You did it in the night
While I slept soundly.
I wanted to say I love you
The words stuck in my craw
Too soon. Too much. Too soon.
The bursting need to utter them
Stammer. Stammer. Stammer.
The words were a hammer in my soul.
How overwhelming this fire, this desire
I couldn’t lie with you and lie to you
Pretend you are less when you are more
So much more.
How can this be ?
I l ooo…. I can’t. I won’t. I can’t.
So I stare at you in terrible silence
Daring you to say it first
Read my mind, fool!
But you just smile
And I fall deeper.
How sweet the pavement seemed today
I licked it as I walked.
Consumed the lemon light
It’s zesty beams resting lightly in my mouth.
I’m leaving you see..
And nothing makes the street seem sweeter
Than knowing that soon I will walk it no more
Those trudging,weighted steps of yesterday
Seem so far away.
A hop, skip and a lump in my throat
I will miss the smiling man on his bike
The old, shuffling lady with her bowled over gait
And most of all,
I will miss you.
The streets where you live.
Where your candy kisses coated my tongue
And your sherbert eyes still fizzle in my brain.