poem

Pinch by pinch

slumpless1 Comment

“This too shall pass”
That’s what they say.
But they haven’t felt one of my minutes
Lived in my skin.
What time is it ? Nearly there ?
My life is crawling, sprawling.
Every half breath takes longer than your sighs.
I can’t see the light.
Not when my immersion is absolute.
Sublime darkness some might say…
Not me.
Squid ink in my pores.
I’m suffocating but not because of silence.
Every word you ever uttered is pinned to my every inch.
Pinch. Pinch. Pinch.
I’m edging my way forwards but it hurts like hell.
I’ll never do this again.
I can’t.
(C) Slumpless

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Whino

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I poured the last shred of myself into getting you back

Dredged the pit and found the last scrap of pride

Withered but worthy of words

Silence. Silence. Silence.

Now I feel absurd.

And I have to question this need for your presence.

This scramble to make you see.

Because when I have you it is not joy in my heart

But fear.

I am always waiting for you to cast your shadow on my face

For you to spit me out without swallowing.

A connoisseur of vintage whines.

Love me. Love me. Love me.

Ughhh I hate myself more than you could.

Better maybe to stay shut up.

Shut me out.

I think I would.

(C)Slumpless

Stop

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Stop. I need to stop.

When my heart steals away in the night

Time travelling back to your hands in my hair

Stop.

I need to quench this thirst for memories

I am laden down with heavy baskets full of the past.

How can I move when every finger is weighed down?

I trudge through the days without you.

And I think I must have seen myself back then when you held me in the night.

I’m pretty sure it was me , sitting in corner looking sad.

Stop.

But how do I do it ?

Learn, when all I do is yearn ?

Smile without wincing?

Is there a potion made to numb ?

Now I understand gin.

You win.

I’m glass and always was and you’re the stone that landed in this vessel.

Tomorrow is another day..

Without you.

(C) Slumpless

Cheap Cheap

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You break the heart of me my love

Cut the soul right out of its skin.

Over. Over.And over

I let you do it it.

This pulsing part on a plate

Sloshed about like a cheap stew

Made cheaper by me.

While I yearn for your expensive smile

The one that only comes out at night.

Me ? My teeth are always on display

Night. Day. I just give it away

As if it means nothing.

Talk is cheap but so is a smile.

And mine is free.

(C) Slumpless

Cut From The Same Star

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I will put holes in your clouds

And trenches in your doubt

Today you will see that I want nothing but you.

You can do as you please

I’m on my knees.

I told you it was forever

But most people don’t mean it my way.

There’s no highway. No wave goodbye.

I am the air you cannot see

The dust that settles lightly on your shoes

Use. Use. Used.

I’m used to it.

So run and push.

There’s nowhere for you to go.

I am sand and snow.

Tree, bird, mamal, fish

Do as you wish.

My love will not be killed

Even if my blood is spilled.

I don’t know jealousy

I don’t know hate.

This is what it means to be my soul

Mate.

So cry. Whimper. Laugh

You are half.

I am other.

Souls from the same Mother.

Cut from the same star.

(C)Slumpless

Deeper

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Dig deep you sad little thing

Find that flutter, buried under hard concrete.

Deeper. Deeper.

It’s in there… somewhere.

What does it take, to make the earth shake ?

For you ?

Is it fire that gets you going

Or do prefer ice ?

You’ve forgotten I know

We all do.

So keep digging my friend.

Keep going through rock, sand and shale

You might fail. Or you might find seed

The one that needs the light.

The one you thought was dead.

The one buried in a hole.

Deep. Deep within your soul.

(C) Slumpless

The Essence of Me

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Splatter. The blood dripped from my nose

Onto the white paper covered in words

And now the essence of me.

Folded into pages. The coursing part of me.

Is it real ? Are we brothers bound in blood ?

Can the tiny trail I leave behind

Serve to remind

The world of my existence ?

Will a girl read these pages and crinkle her nose?

As I crinkle mine to keep from overflowing.

Splatter. Splatter.

Do I matter ?

Blood on a page can last longer than in my veins.

Passed from hand to hand through the ages

Life on pages.

(C) Slumpless