I won’t go where you want me to. Won’t lie where you think I will.
I am always on the sill.
I will stand on your shoulders and when you can no longer bear it
I will take hold of a branch and climb like an ape.
Up, up, up, I will go.
You’re too slow
You can’t hold on,you see?
I am earth and sky.
I walk. I fly.
Unable to be pinned.
Tuna not tinned.
To swim in the sea.
Animal. Cannibal. Bird.
I move with the herd.
You lag behind my friend.
I’m not saying it’s the end.
It’s definitely not the beginning.
Somewhere in the middle.
Somewhere wild and open
Don’t ruin it with ‘hopin’.
(c)Slumpless(originally posted 30.03.17)
Then came the shame
Hot and sharp across my body
I convulsed as I washed the dishes.
How did I let you ever make me feel that way ?
How did I let you think it was ok ?
Fuck you and all you stood for.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Fuck you and the pain you caused me
The way you paused me
And played me.
Played me like a fool.
But there’s a core of steel in here
And inside that there’s fire.
It keeps burning fucker.
But not for you.
When in the middle of palpable desire
It is hard to imagine how anyone’s fire
can be set alight by anything other than want and wanting.
I quit that need.
I wish to move to less flaming coals
The ones that keep me warm but do not singe my lashes.
I have surfed the wave of molton rock and burnt my feet
I reached pinnacles that left my hair full of stars
As my breath became part of Saturn’s rings.
All these things… fuelled me and kept me shining
The love , the loss, the pining
And so on and so on.
But now my roots prefer the earth to be steady
And although I still sway with the wind , I am not taken with it.
I am no longer taken, no longer shaken.
A match is no good for a tree
You were no good for me.
Everyone should have a tree in a field somewhere
The one you would run to when the world turns black
The one in the meadow you pass on the train each day
which reminds you that some things are always still.
That in all the rush there is hush. There is lush.
I have a tree.
It’s boughs just right for hanging my coat
Its leaves gentle enough to give me shade but not block out the sun.
One day I will get off a stop early
One day I will clamber over the fence into that field.
One day I will lie there with nothing but a chirping to add sound to my sad day.
One day. Not today
There is a pulsing in the hearth again
That breathes life into the most mundane of things
A child wrapped in a towel
A cat splayed out in the sun
The thud of it all
The pinch of spice into my cauldron
Is all alive with the promise
That day after day after day
It might end the same way
And that my longing for things wild and free
Is right here with me.
Don’t project your squalid being onto me
Your no good agenda has not its carbon copy in my book.
There are those of us with no ungodly pursuit
Just a need to breathe.
Try it my dear. Have no fear.
There are only a few with bladed hands
The rest ? We just do our best.
Do not show your fangs because you were bitten once
Do not transfer the disease that is distrust
We will all be dust
So do not push me to the bottom of pool
Don’t lose your cool
Rise above without corpses in your wake
For goodness sake.
And when you fly it will be with wings not a flailing , borne of ill winds.
Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be loved.
We all deserve a crown
Don’t let yours be thorns
Let yourself be loved.
Decadent mortals living as if there was no tomorrow
There won’t be. Not like today.
Throw it away. Throw it away.
Each discarded wrapper is another nail in your plastic sarcophagus.
You think this sphere is just rock ?
It breathes you know.
Its lungs are just as tired as yours will be
Think of all the living things as cells
Then perhaps you won’t create your hell.
Is it worth it for a shiny thing
That no birds sing ?
You and only you must look at your hands
And see the weapons that you each bear
Their ability to tear.
Throw it away ? Another day ?
Do you have one ?