Things that never fade

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Barnacles of guilt cling to my underbelly
Ugly protrusions that only I can see
They form the frame of me
This terrible guilt. This terrible guilt.
I wish. I wish. I wish I were a fish.
What’s the point of wishing ?
Better to go fishing.
I’m no ordinary vessel though
I’m tethered to the shore
Forever wanting more
The salty water is furrowing my bow
The seagulls laughing because I hold no plunder
All thunder.
No electricity here.
I hear whales singing or rather I feel it in my neck
My hull.my skull.
Echoes of all the wrongs I ever did
The ones I hid
They re the ones that stick
Gouge them off with a sharp blade ?
You think I haven’t tried?
Water laps at the edges of me. A little acid from a world gone mad for things that never fade.
Eroding my core. Reminding me I’m a wh….
The rope is taking longer to fray
Soon I’ll be a skeleton ship.
Tied at the hip.
Soon I’ll be a frame. Only a frame
With creatures chewing my brain.
Those barnacles though. Well they ‘ll just cling to some other thing. Something good.
Rock not wood.

(c) Slumpless

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It’s all been done before.

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I’m chronically in love with you.

” Every step you take, every move you make..”

Oh wait it’s all been done before?

Well this love hasn’t.

My love for you is a thumbprint.

My love for you is like the word that rhymes with orange.

No no not that it doesn’t exist!

Silly.

It’s sporange ( look it up- I  did)

My love for you is like sniffing glue ( I imagine)

It’s hit me in the face like that game. You know … Pie face.

Full throttle to the gob. Exciting. Funny. Runny.

I love you till the cows come home and get milked. Over and over.

Everyday.

I will love you after I sag  and before I rot

I will love you in the next world and all the worlds after.

It’s all been done before?

Yep. again and again and again.

Forever. Foralways. For me.

(To JJ)

(c) Slumpless

 

 

 

 

 

Lifer

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I scrambled into the derelict halls of you

And wove through the scattered rubble of your heart

Siphoning blood in hopes that you would..

You might..

Never mind. I was going elsewhere

I was moving up

Your clavicle was my trampoline

Up up I soared

To the complex tunnels in your head

Wandering there instead

It’s heaven up here. And Hell.

Too much going on to tell

Do you love me ?Or am I insane

There are no clues in your busy brain

And now I’m lost in this terrible maze

Those horrible hours melding into days.

Then suddenly I find myself moving south

Lolling in your exquisite mouth

A sudden jerk , I feel a lunge

From your body I am expunged.

I lie in dribble on the floor

The mystery of you is no more

I saw your innards , I thought I was a lifer

But your thoughts I could not decipher

That time inside took its toll

I never made it to your soul

Perhaps it’s better never to find

What goes on in a lover’s mind.

(C) Slumpless

Death Star

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And when I left

I was pinned to the stars I once looked at

Hooked to the constellations

Swinging from the moon.

I became the swirling universe

But I felt nothing but peace.

Release.

There were no more ‘shoulds’

No more regrets.

I wasn’t missing out, you see?

I am everywhere and everything.

I am in you and with you and always will.

How can I be sad I’m gone ?

I know you are.

You look for me in the star.

The one we named together.

But don’t crane your neck to see me

As I craned mine to see those before.

For I am more.

More than just heavens.

More than hell.

I am all.

And I am well.

(c) Slumpless

Ostrich

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I have paid the price for a half-life

A half thought.

A relationship fraught.

Together ? Or not?

He loves you. He loves you not.

Make a decision for f#*%k’s sake.

The ground won’t shake.

Then maybe we would have been ok.

Better rounded. Our depression unfounded.

Oh what a burden to carry

Did they mean to marry?

Wishing they would divorce

It couldn’t get any worse.

Not for me. Not for us.

A life undefined.

Something terribly wrong but not on paper

Never on paper. Too black and white.

Enough with this shite.

It’s not right. It never was.

Were you trying to protect us?

Or was it yourselves you were trying to save?

Neither one of you brave..

Enough. Enough.

Only now I can move on

Try not to do the same wrongs.

You’re still ostriches though

At least you’ll be grand

With your heads in the sand.

Not us. Definitely not me.

The blinkers are gone

The things I always believed , the same old song

No more. No more.

I want more.

So much more.

(c) Slumpless

 

Dribble

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I let the madness show by accident

It dribbled out my mouth

Your eyes widened

And suddenly you had to leave

I had no tissues

I couldn’t hide

You had already crossed to the other side.

I was doing so well. I was doing so well.

Drooling fool. Drooling fool.

And all I said was:

‘Terribly grey isn’t it?’

That’s all I said.

It must have been high pitched

Maybe I twitched.

It’s too late now. Too late.

There will always  be the divide.

Normal over there.

Crazy on this side.

(c)Slumpless