Did you wear yellow to fool me?
“Quirky” you with your bright,effervescent smile.
Your dimples hinted at endless laughter
A gurgling brook sourced at heaven.
And your sparkling eyes were jewels to my vapid heart.
Did you giggle because you knew it tickled me.
Were your jokes even your own?
How can you look like an angel and sound like one
Then turn around and do what you do ?
Nature’s trick is what I call you.
An April fool for every day of the year.
You wear yellow and smile like a child
But there is only black on your brush
And I let you paint all over me.(C)Slumpless
When I find myself in the midst of groggy strife.
When I can’t even see the sky for the black
I listen. I listen.
To the thumping drum ,the melodic hum.
It resonates with my soul
Takes the dust from my eyes
Lets me see heaven.
So when I feel choked with life’s regrets and woes
When all I see is darkness.
The cure. The fix.The trick.
Is music, music,music.
I am all or nothing
And you gave me the latter
Like I didn’t matter.
Like I would wait with my tongue hanging loose
Your love a noose
Around this grateful neck.
I don’t do it by halves or quarters
Like a lamb to the slaughter
I go all in.
And there lies the rub
This eagerness you snub
Because you can’t believe it’s true
This love I had for you.
I am all or nothing.
And you gave me none
And it’s no longer fun.
But I’m not laughing now
Nor am I crying
I won’t be dying
For your half arsed look
I close the book.
I said it was forever and I really tried
I’m sorry I lied.
It’s not the Never-ending story
It’s much less glory
It started with a bang
And ends with a sigh
No screaming, no cry
I’ll keep on breathing
And this heart will beat on
For a love that is long gone.
A lie is an airbubble.
Small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things
But in my skin
It goes to the heart.
This beating ball of mush not muscle.
What does it feel like this toy ?
You play with its softness much too much
But a lump will form.
A callous from your callousness
Borne of things unsaid and left to fester in this tangled web of all the things I can only doubt.
I screamed once but now my blood is pooled and cooled and I can only whimper and even that is hushed.
“Oh well.” You said “That’s just the way I am.”
And I suppose I can’t blame the gun when I know it was made of others hands.
Let me not become your weapon.
Let me not shoot indiscriminately because I have been cut.
Bend the butt.
Turn inwards in retrospect and be better this time.
Your looks will fade my love
And all the endless preening will come to naught
I was once like you
In other flames, my comfort sought
I let my fire dwindle while I stoked theirs.
And danced like a dervish and whirled through their stares.
Slow it was, the creeping decay
Which turned copper to rust
Grass to hay.
Until one day they looked no more.
And my inner workings were merely gore.
Left uncared for … my brain did rot
And thus it is….my unhappy lot.
So dance my pretty
I’m not saying no
But keep your inner fire burning
Because your looks will go.
Originally posted May 2017.
Torpedo love bore holes in my comfortable life
Now I can’t remember how I ever enjoyed being alone
Torpedo love, blew away the cobwebs in my soul.
But there is still a spider. Incy. Wincy.
Ever so slowly. Ever so softly.
Torpedo love turned me to goo
But the arachnid is you.
Too late now for me. Too late.
I cannot move. I can feel its breath.
Torpedo love is made for death.
You make me mean. Unclean.
I want to wash off the hateful things I say
Make them go away.
You bring out my demons. The ones I hold inside
The ones I successfully hide.
From everyone. But you.
You are a poultice on this ravaged heart.
Right from the very start.
I know you. I know you well.
You are my hell.
Only because we’re cut from the same dough.
The same heart. The same head.
We’re both gingerbread.
Except it’s not the crocodile that eats us.
We eat each other up whole.
Heart to soul.