Can you hug the blood of me ?
There is a need so deep that only the excavation of bone will do.
Dig my dear.
Love the entrails of me because they have been abandoned of late.
I fear you all are more in thrall with the light cover that shields the rest.
So I ask you to bury down past the soft yielding outer layer.
The one that pleases the eye and fingertips.
Kiss and love beyond the lips and curvy hips.
Sink into the dirt of me.
Land in quicksand but stay still
Then I know you will
Stay. Forever. Stay.
Once upon a time there was a sphere
floating and spinning in the blackest of nights.
On this sphere lived a people whose need to survive depended on a translucent potion which fell from their skies and only their skies .
They also required a rare combination of minerals and vitamins which they could consume from strange creatures which also inhabited this round rock. Some of these creatures even became loyal to them and lived alongside them like family.
These people had an amazing superpower which allowed them to thrive above all creatures and create special crafts that could fly high high and others which could go deep under the translucent basins which dotted their world.
They made special portals which could link their minds over huge spaces and meant that no matter where they went they could speak to whoever they wished.
They could make amazing sounds come out of apparatuses which they fashioned from elements around them. And often they would move involuntarily to these sounds.
Every piece of these people was intricately made and seemed to function as if by …..
“Magic ? Was it magic mother ?”
Of course it was magic my love but the strangest thing about it all is that most of them didn’t believe.
“Why do you write?” He said
The words echoing in my head
Why wouldn’t I ? Why wouldn’t I ?
To let you in
Or keep you out ?
Do I write to shout ?
Look at me. LOOK at me.
Is that why I set pen to pages
To last through the ages?
For this ?
A few words casting only a few sparks.
No Heaney or Shelley
No Wordsworth or Keats.
No wins or defeats
Just me. Just me.
Just a word without the S to make it sharp.
Doctor Imposter in a shower of pain
Always the rain.
But what would I do without it ?
Where would my soul go if not to fill a gap among the many lines.
So I write to fill up a space.
Both inside and outside
I always have and I hope I always will.
There’s a long luscious list of reasons we should
But a jagged emporium of poisonous consequences
Jars upon jars upon shelves upon walls
Filled with outcomes. Black outcomes.
They swirl around like mini-galaxies
Holding us both hostage to our decisions.
It’s not just one you see?
All the things that led us here
A million ways we can go wrong
Let’s sit here for a while. On the safe floor.
In the room without a door.
Where the only way out
Tell me woeful wind where are you coming from?
Whose hair have you already mussed?
Are you bringing me the cheap perfume of a hastily sprayed teenager or perhaps the poised, pulse-douse of a well-aged dame ?
But you are not the same.
There is something different about you today.
I fear you carry tears.
I feel the light spray of sadness whet my own.
You are not an ill wind but rather a ropey one.
Tying us together with all our untrapped chaos
Must you bring me this news ?
I hear the echoe of a sob so very raw
Not even the crows’ caw
Can drown it.
The shushing of you through the leaves
Is the calm before the storm
Warn. Warn. Warn.
The knock at my door this morning.
There are no surprises for a writer
Just the outcome of one storyline that we had already imagined.
It is both our curse and cure.
To never be sure
But always certain that the winds of change will blow our curtains
Wide. Wide. Wide.
The worlds we create sweep far beyond you.
To see what is possible and to guess the impossible.
The magic of it all.
Life has us in thrall.
No you didn’t ambush me.
I saw it a million miles away.
Silly you behind a bush.
Hush. Hush. Hush.
No shock at your roadblock.
A writer has hope is all.
Hope that the right tale is the one our lives will take
But if not , we won’t break.
We’ll go around and about.
We’re weavers and believers.
Ah yes but it’s all a dream isn’t it ?
Don’t ever be smug
That you pulled the rug
From underneath me.
I put it there and I didn’t tie it down.
The biggest lesson you taught me
Is that it is possible to breathe.
It is possible to walk about and eat and sleep and touch and laugh and squeeze out tears.
It is possible to play the part
But have no heart.
You taught me about a new breed
Who walk among us folk
You think we’re the joke ?
I suppose we are.
We are cursed by the need to understand people like you
The other kind who
Hurt and harm, with a well crafted charm.
But more than hurt you have taught me pity
Because you didn’t just fall to earth.
You are man-made, my dear
This persona borne of fear.
The love that is allowed thrive for most of us
Must have been beaten out.
So I forgive you though you don’t actually care
The truth is I forgive myself.
Forgive myself for being ever pissed
With yet another narcissist.