Too close to the night

I wanted to be neat and tidy.

No aches or pains.

Steady as she goes.

I needed to be light and fluffy

A breath of fresh air to replenish your soul.

And I was. For a while.

But like a burning photograph

The edges of me began to singe and smoulder

And slowly but surely I crumpled inwards

My gaping smile, fading… fading until

Puff!

I was no more than smoke

That made you splutter and choke.

I can never be colour.

I will never shine bright

My soul is too close to the surface

Too close to the night.

(C) Slumpless

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Fluffier Clouds

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You make me interesting.

I remember things I never used to.

Little slivers of pointless information

That you lap up.

All my quirks can be displayed

Delayed

Until the right moment

And I’m all new to you again.

There’s so much of me I want to give

And for once I feel like a well

A fountain

Spluttering forth crystal drops

Of something that restores you.

Makes you whole.

I am only like this with you

You show up the invisible ink in me

The words that others don’t see

You use your fingertips… your tongue

Your lovely mouth whips me into a frenzy

I’m soaring above new clouds

That are fluffier than the last

Is it too fast?

I don’t care.

Because with you, I do.

I dare.

(c) Slumpless

Tummy Truths

Listen to your guts

Those wrenching, clenching, squelching knots they make.

They’re telling you something,

You may not want to hear.

I doubted their bubbling ways.

Told myself that all was well

That memories are just playing with bile

But all the while

They knew your untruths.

You lied to my face and it believed you

But my entrails are less naive.

So next time I hear that rumble

I won’t mistake it for thunder

But I will know a storm is coming.

(C)Slumpless

Need

You took down the fairylights

And I didn’t know what to say.

How could I explain to you the need for those little buds of soft glowing light ?

And I don’t say ‘need’ lightly.

You know this time of year is hard for me

You know the opaque clouds that fill the sky ?

Well they fill me too.

Those lights were my solace

A twinkle in the drab grey that permeates every cavity of this godforsaken soul.

But you bundled them up tightly and put them away

They made the place look messy

But I’m the one who is here all day

Don’t I have a say ?

Don’t take away my light

Don’t leave me in the dark

There is a cold wind howling

And a shadow at the door.

(C) Slumpless

Too Muchness

You’re very aware of your “too muchness” He said.

“Much too much” I replied

I’m much too emotional

Much too intense

Much too mad

Much too sad

It’s all too much you know ?

But for who ? For me ? For you?

What about too less ? Isn’t that worse ?

Much more of a curse?

I suppose he’s right.

I suppose more is better

Then why do I feel less ?

(C)Slumpless

Players

Thanks you guys

You have taught me well

This messing me around shit

Has given me Hell.

Will he reply ? Will he text?

What’s happening now ?

What happens next?

Thanks y’all for making me feel crazy

The last few years are somewhat hazy

Constant confusion , up and down moods

Wondering how anyone could be so rude?

But still I thank you

Because now you see

I too can be a player

Not just a playee.

This karma thing it really works

So lashings of gratitude to all you jerks.

(C) Slumpless

Time dies

All I want to do is sleep

Because being without you is being stuck to the hands of a clock

Tick tock.

I feel every second jolt my core

Time isn’t like before.

It used to fly. Remember?

Just yesterday I floated on weightless sand

Upside down in an hourglass

Then right back up again.

Now it’s just circles.

And they never fucking end.

(C)Slumpless