There is a ragged breath that rasps its way out just before sleep beckons
It speaks of trapped thoughts let out like a cat into the night.
I am never exhaling with the full force of my lungs
Not until that moment in the dark where frantic wisps of all the itchy things I’ve done burst forth and dance on my covers.
It’s the shit show and I’m front row.
No clapping here as I cover my eyes with trembling fingers.
All I see are shards of the day
Here now to pierce my soul as they rip through my guts
Their incessant replaying of all the things I would rather forget.
Their beautifully ugly embellishments bringing heat to my cheeks over and over.
Nowhere to go but clamber back behind the curtain of my sleeping eyes
To the tepid waters of my longterm brain
There they shall remain
Each day honing their skills to cut the heart of me right from under my nose
Even in slumbering repose.
I longed for you through inky night and harsh sunlight
I called on the stars to help me.
I summoned the winds to bring you near.
My every thought was spattered with you
Scattered by you.
Your effervescent tongue had awakened every nerve.
I felt flooded by your spirit
Engulfed by your soul.
And then it stopped.
And you called.
How long can I sit still before I become nothing? Before my value…fades?
How much must I do
To be worthy of you ?
What if I find no joy in running ?
Am I worth less if I don’t seem busy ?
Circles. Circles. Dizzy ?
You should see my thoughts
They know nothing but work
So don’t be a jerk.
Words take up my schedule
Fast and furious
You just need to be curious
Take a peek
I’m strong not weak.
Moving your legs makes you feel good pain ?
Have you tried excercising your brain?
So before you accuse me of being a fail
Ask yourself why you’re chasing your tail ?
No need for flowers
When your words build towers.
If meaning is conveyed
All is not lost
Complexity does not always a poet make.
Yes there is beauty in finding the perfect word
The perfect formation
A superb creation
Those words that leave literati gasping
But joy can also be found in beautiful simplicity
In a thought not over-processed, not pulverised
One whose very essence remains untouched
One that reaches the masses, all the classes
That speaks for us all
That has us enthralled
So fear not
Or compare your words with others
Do not seek to alter your voice.
Yes this is a craft
But one of many forms
Of many facets
And yours has assets
Of its own.
Originally posted 15.06.16
There’s a grimy,slimy trail you leave
When you touch my face
It sticks to me for weeks and I can’t shake that sludge
It won’t budge
You slither away under a rock
And I whither in the heat
Deplete. You deplete me.
I keep doing it over and over.
“You can’t teach an old dog ” and all that
I guess I’m a mutt because I’m certainly no bitch.
Only to myself.
I added a new dimension to my world
Yesterday all I had was fear.
But now a whole new path appears.
I didn’t realise my fingers were gripping something so immovable.
That I hugged a life with no promise.
So when I unwound my fingers
A vast and exciting land rose from the rubble
Outside my bubble.
This new dimension called future is uncertain …
Hidden behind ethereal curtains
Oh but at least I can open them wide
See what’s on the other side.
So let go of that thing that ties to you to the past
And move into the future, light
I explained you into something else
How else could I understand you ?
I made excuses for your strange ways
And let the nuances I didn’t understand become mysteries, worthy of my love.
At the end however I realized that you are not an art piece to be deciphered
And that color on a wall does not a picture make.
Your silences are not opportunities for me to read your mind
But chances for blissful peace
So goodbye sunshine. Goodbye rain.
I thought you were a Picasso but you were nothing but a stain.