Don’t press her buttons
Then tell her she’s crazy.
Don’t let her do everything
Then make her feel lazy.
Don’t make her cry
Then call her a moan
Don’t not listen
Then wonder why she groans.
Don’t shut her out
Then ask her why she pouts.
Don’t be a dick
And watch that mean mouth.
Don’t call her a bitch
When she won’t have sex
Don’t not call her
And wonder why she’s vexed.
So many don’t s
So much to remember
But don’t worry if you can’t
She ‘ll be gone by December
Bring me cider and crisps
And those little biscuits I love
I want to sit by the river
And drink like we used to.
Run your fingertips up my arm
Just to the top of my shoulder
Each day getting bolder
And kiss like we used to.
Let the sun burn my neck
What the heck ?
I was destined to leave either way.
Let us lie side by side
In the meadow deep and wild
Look me in the eyes and pretend we have forever
Just like we used to.
Please, like we used to.
I found perturbed slumber in between the craggy folds of an old blanket
Nestled into a dark room wishing it were smaller.
Only a cocoon would do the trick ,
Tighten around me and let me rest while I grew and changed.
Instead I settle for fitful sleep
Where all the lies you ever told
Make me see there was no baseline with you.
“Hello”, could mean anything.
The intent of your very smile
Will keep me wondering.
But only for a while.
I squandered my dreams on you already
And it’s giving me no good answer, no peace.
So I make my own.
No need for you to explain.
I understand more than you think
And I think more than you can ever understand.
I know what you are. Not of my earth or air.
I would dissect you further but I really don’t care.
I carried marbles when I was with you
I held tiny , the worlds that I should have lived
But when I let go and they scattered
I wasn’t empty. I wasn’t shattered.
I watched each roll about its shiny way
And I knew I would be ok
I hadn’t lost my marbles
I had set them free
Tiny worlds away from thee
Little spheres of perfect glass
To show me the insignificance of what did pass
There was never an us
Just you. Just me.
I didn’t lose my marbles
I set them free.
I will always suffer this sight
That lends itself across time and space
I see fathoms and fault lines
Swirling moonrock in a universe far from ours
I don’t think in minutes. Hours. Centuries.
They mean nothing to me.
I see circles and curls
Whisps of words spoken light years ago
The first laugh into the sky.
The first tear that set the earth alight.
So if I don’t see you tomorrow
Or the next
Don’t look for me with eyes. Don’t search to touch with your fingertips
To kiss me with your lips.
I am something you cannot lose or find
Flowing through you and past you and back again.
Love is not a word that I just uttered.
It is my print on the matrix that binds us .
I do not fall.
I hold it all.
An audience with you
That’s how I feel
All at me.
Ta da.Ta da. Ta daaaa….
Oh wait. Should I clap ?
I’m sorry I zoned out.
Thirty I’s ago.
How am I ?
No you didn’t ask ?
And if you do, I see your eyes glaze over.
Well that’s ok because I’m fine.
I have a mute button too.
And all I see is your mouth.
As if we’re in water.
But where I used to sink.
I now swim upwards for air.
There are those who are not aware
Who gobble up air
Like it was all theirs for the taking
Who take whomping big skips that leave the ground shaking.
They get all up in our space
Right up in your face.
Fuck you. I live here too.
Close your mouth when you chew.
Don’t pick that zit on the bus.
Sweet fucking Jesus !
Stop a minute and see
It’s not just you.
And him. And her.
Not just a blur.
You think therefore you are ?
Or have you not thought that far ?
Well now is the time to open your eyes
See the world not the lies.
This life isn’t a selfie or a pic
So quit being a dick.