I don’t have time to plant flowers
Or paint my kitchen blue
I don’t have the patience to bake a cake
I’m too busy to take a bath.
I realised then you absorb colour
From the world. From me.
I gave it out without a thought.
These little pleasures came easy
The smell of coffee in the morning
Candles late at night
These things were scaffolding for my fragile senses
They keep the grey at bay
But for you the world was made of sturdier stuff
And you had no need for sculpted glass.
I’m not saying you’re crass but you’re not as gentle as I thought.
So I will keep filling this world with rainbows
But you won’t find my gold.
Treat me like an Angel
And I will fly for you
Tell me I’m beautiful
And I will grow more so
I am what you put in
And take out
In. Out. In. Out.
This is what love is about.
You touch my skin ever so slightly
But I feel weight in those fingers
I feel light. Lighter.
I’m flying above this room
I’m floating on lavender clouds
Your breath is the breeze
And for now you control my direction.
I must remember though
That I am more than Angel
That I hold both dark and light
And the balance is mine to keep
I must not let the heavens weep
So treat me well and I will be an Angel
But there are parts of me that
That are mine alone
Mine to mould
Mine to hone.
Your fingers are magic
Your touch is delight
You hold the lighter
But I carry the light.
This thing we have?
I’ve learned never to ask
“What are we”?
The truth is:
A little something in the evening
A soft hand on a hard place
A gentle caress of the face
Going nowhere. Nowhere to go.
This time I’m ok with that.
You don’t sing me songs, right any wrongs.
You just touch and go.
Ask me no questions
Tell me no lies
Our conversation is made up of sighs
We’re on loan. Not alone.
I don’t look for hidden gems
I don’t dig at your soul.
It is what it is.
A little something. For a little while.
My fermenting thoughts, turned you to wine.
Better than grape but not as sweet
Warbling like a stream through my pretty veins
Making me babble like a brook
Black lips, giving you away.
Giving me away.
And though I swirl you about my mouth
I never spit you out.
I will follow you like a whimper
Soft and sad. Slobbering on your shoulder.
You hate the way my nostrils flare
The way my face puffs when I cry
I’m a useless jelly
A wobbling mass
“Silly Billy.Silly Billy.”
You say it with no hint of light
No glint of love.
You have nothing else to say.
And I have nowhere else to go.
You didn’t see the blemishes, You didn’t feel the bumps
The bristles, the lumps
You skim your tongue over me
As if I were made of milk
Lapping at silk
All the parts I hated
Berated over the years
Are smoothing me over
Like a brand new shape
A perfect sculpture
And I’m beginning to think
I’m not all that bad
I’m beginning to think..
We cling to each other like limpets
As wretched storms howl above
Hurling light back and forth
Havoc outside our beautiful bliss.
Angry seas won't take you from me
Nor greedy fingers searching for salty mouthfuls
Your softness is mine tonight
Your ebb and flow
The angry mass can come and go
But now the winds have calmed
And gull cries can be heard again
The floating remnants of unfortunate wrecks
Will keep us buoyant
And though we may feel a chill
All around us the water is still.
Revenge is a dish best served unaware
When you really don’t care
When you have moved on
But they suddenly realise they haven’t.
Blue is our colour
Pools of sapphire that light up your face
And my day.
Your soft cerulean jumper.
That I long to touch but never do.
The azure oceans where one day we might swim
But probably never will.
The kind of movie our lovemaking would inspire
Set the world on fire
Put out with my indigo tears.
Yes it’s definitely our colour
And it’s certainly mine
That glacial feeling
When I have to leave
The colour of a dying heart on my sleeve.
I left us to fallow
Ploughed and harrowed
Beware the lack of care
Hearts are not fields made to rest
Made strong by force
Muscle strengthened over time
Don’t allow soil
To settle too long.
The rot set in on our patch
Left to the air and rain.
Nothing planted again.