All Ways

I am aeons old
Memories fall over me that are sourced beyond this lifetime.
I have seen the shadow and shade of a million sunrises and of a billion dawns.
I walked with mammoths and swam in the first trickle of what you now pour down your throat.
When I close my eyes I have leagues and legions to keep my tired mind awake.
I am older than you can ever begin to imagine.
But only because I remember.
I remember it all.
The clang. The pressure. The bang.
I was here but so were you.
You changed. I changed.
Form and format.
Sulphuric air to liquid lair then beautiful solid shapes.
Soon I will be plasma but I won’t forget your eyes.
The anchor to my every life.
In each tick of a meaningless second
In an infinity of moments
I am yours.
All shapes. All matters. All ways.
(C) Slumpless

Advertisements

Without

I mourn the flesh of her
The weighty warmth of smooth limbs on my back
The delicate scent of hair in my mouth.
I miss the teeth of her.
The laugh she kept for me
The languid repose of her on a Sunday morning.
I miss her mind of course
But it is the flesh of her that leaves its searing emptiness in my soul.
I hug a pillow but it gives beneath my touch
And it is cold.
I wonder is she cold too ?
I close my eyes but all I see is bone. Bones.
The smooth skin going,going. Gone.
It’s all wrong. Without her.
Why do my lungs not give up ?
I think my heart has.

(C) Slumpless

Loose End

Half finished knitting, lying like a sad multicolored cat on the table.
A half crudely cut curtain grimacing at me from the shadows
Half done.
Projects I intend to finish but never do.
I do things by halves. Perfect halves.

Except love.

That’s heart and soul and pieces of flesh.
Imperfectly whole.
And that’s why I’m finished. Complete.
Ended.
You came into this halfheartedly.
And now I am at a loose end.
(C) Slumpless

Shears to you

You wanted me to straddle.
A limb in each corner.
One burning with the uninhibited heat
The other, pale in life’s banal never-ending joke.
You enjoyed the tearing, the pulling apart
Not of my body.
Ah but of my dreams.
Do you know what torn hopes look like ?
They are jagged. Shorn. Shook from their mother’s milken tit.
Left to mew in the icy shadow of your shrug.

But I am made of moss and I flourish where roses die.
I don’t cry.
Not for you, you wicked thing.
Made worse by no awareness of your hacking.
A shears sheds no tears when flowers fall.
But I am no flower.
I am the tower.
So shears to you my dear.
Make sure you look me in the eye.
No not down there. Up. Up in the sky.
(C) Slumpless

Narci-cyst.

This time I take full blame

For playing your game.

I can’t pretend I didn’t see the outcome

Oh and out it came.

The beautiful, searing truth.

The kind that wakes you in the night with disbelief.

Not grief.

I did that before.

How could you be so … so…

So fucking awful. So fucking you.

So fucking what ?

There are no surprises.

So I take full blame.

Add it to the list

Of things that keep happening

With a narcissist.

(C) Slumpless

Self- Charmer

You are a half beat between the thuds
A low hum behind the melody
A trickle of shadow on scorching ground
I will move towards you in the darkness
And my time will stagger to your glassy pace
A clink. A clunk. A jangle.
I crawl into cracks for you. To be with you.
I turn life on its head to be in your bed.
Thud. Ud.Thud. Ud. Thud.Ud.
That’s my heart in my ears
It’s all I hear.
You slash your way out of my skin
And it takes time to heal.
But I’m a self-harmer
My blade is a charmer.

(C)Slumpless

Plastic Fantastic

Love’s fat weight is resting in my torso
A lolloping dollop of a hefty heart
Much too much to carry .
All the fat of yesterday’s joy so entrenched in coronory tract,
That I require a stent.
A scratching off.
A bludgeoning of debris too hardened to come away in the night.
Yours is glass.
Rubbed away easy.
A crime without grime.
Can I change mine now for a lighter model ?
One that beats with ease ?
Pretty please ?

Plastic fantastic or maybe elastic ?

Either way not lead, not filled with dread

Can I have yours instead ?

(C) Slumpless