I have paid the price for a half-life
A half thought.
A relationship fraught.
Together ? Or not?
He loves you. He loves you not.
Make a decision for f#*%k’s sake.
The ground won’t shake.
Then maybe we would have been ok.
Better rounded. Our depression unfounded.
Oh what a burden to carry
Did they mean to marry?
Wishing they would divorce
It couldn’t get any worse.
Not for me. Not for us.
A life undefined.
Something terribly wrong but not on paper
Never on paper. Too black and white.
Enough with this shite.
It’s not right. It never was.
Were you trying to protect us?
Or was it yourselves you were trying to save?
Neither one of you brave..
Only now I can move on
Try not to do the same wrongs.
You’re still ostriches though
At least you’ll be grand
With your heads in the sand.
Not us. Definitely not me.
The blinkers are gone
The things I always believed , the same old song
No more. No more.
I want more.
So much more.
Can I dabble in you?
Stick my spoon in and sift through the liquids of your soul?
Your cauldron will bubble
Skin, nails, stubble.
I will scoop at the good bits make them float to the top
But just as you boil over
I will stop.
Simmer. Simmer. Simmer.
You know I go witch way.
That the follicles of your heart
Are mine to control
Along with your soul
And every other inch.
Pinch. Pinch. Pinch.
A bit of this and that
Added to the mix
Stirring you up
You’re froth. Broth.
Moth to my flame.
Bubble. Bubble. Pop.
You’re not really a rebel, are you?
With your skull tattoos and lost soul vibe.
You sit on a bike that you can’t ride
You smoke pot all the time so you can’t drive.
You walk with a swagger but have no sway
Your ridiculous stories give you away
Your ‘live in the moment’ constant retort
Although you really do nothing of the sort.
You like heavy-metal fine.. ok
You over insist that you’re not ‘gay’
You’re mean though
I’ll give you that.
Shut me out of life
Make me feel like a twat.
You’re a rebel without a reason
I committed no crime or treason.
I wanted you and that was all
Your worst crime was to pretend to fall
You’re full of crap and rather crass
You’re really not a good.. bad-ass.
Can I be kinder to myself this time ?
Not go looking for cotton in a cement wall
Please don’t let one word,undo me again.
I have to be brick this time.
I don’t need a wolf at my door to tell me he can blow me down.
Don’t let me read into it all
Because I do, you know.
I think that it means something.
That the universe is pushing us together
But maybe it’s just testing my new home.
Maybe it’s the final test
Before I put you to rest
The final howl
The final growl
When you were wolf
And I was moon.
I won’t go where you want me to. Won’t lie where you think I will.
I am always on the sill.
I will stand on your shoulders and when you can no longer bear it
I will take hold of a branch and climb like an ape.
Up, up, up, I will go.
You’re too slow
You can’t hold on,you see?
I am earth and sky.
I walk. I fly.
Unable to be pinned.
Tuna not tinned.
To swim in the sea.
Animal. Cannibal. Bird.
I move with the herd.
You lag behind my friend.
I’m not saying it’s the end.
It’s definitely not the beginning.
Somewhere in the middle.
Somewhere wild and open
Don’t ruin it with ‘hopin’.
(c)Slumpless(originally posted 30.03.17)
You scrambled my legs
Macerated my brains
I’m all sorts of jam but no preserve.
You liquefy the bones of me
Turn my organs to pulp.
I can’t speak. I gulp.
With just a lick and a nibble
All I can do is dribble.
I’ve turned into quite the fool
Standing in a pool of drool.
I broke the corners of my soul
And gave you those lonely edges
They tasted like me you said
Mostly good but tainted with need.
'Is that bad?' I said.
'It will be your undoing.'
You were right of course.
And as I unfurl the remainder of my curled up love
I see it is blackened by our plight.