The MANicure

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And  I thought of you

As I always do

When there is silence and void.

I suppose you filled those once.

Filled me.

I remember the ways you held me

Those cold nights in your embrace

Your beard in my face.

I must have read lies in your thumbs

My brain went numb.

Lies in your licking

Your lapping

Your gentle slapping.

It was all a dream.

A bubble.

No beard just stubble.

You cut me out as you would your nails

A half thought before breakfast

A chore.

A tick on your to-do list.

Maybe that’s why I’m pissed.

I was left seeking more.

More than a cut.

More than a snip.

But all I was to you was a

Dead end.

(c) Slumpless

Waves

I look for comfort in billowing spume.

Thunderous. Luminous. Vicious.

Circular motion then thundering roar

That’s where my heart can soar.

That body. That body.

That mass. Oh my.

I can barely hear the seagulls cry.

I seek comfort in it’s swishy gurgle

Its undulating moves.

Its undertow , high and low. 

I can ride this beast 

But can never conquer it’s swell.

Oh well.

I’m driftwood . 

Bobbing. Bobbing. Babbling.

Rushing to shore. Rushing to shore.

Then poof….. No more. 

No more me. 

Only soft yellow sands

Formed from a million things that were once tough as rock.

But are now full of footprints.

(C) Slumpless 

Soft And Sad 

I will follow you like a whimper

Soft and sad. Slobbering on your shoulder.

You hate the way my nostrils flare 

The way my face puffs when I cry

I’m a useless jelly

A wobbling mass

“Silly Billy.Silly Billy.”

You say it with no hint of light

No glint of love. 

You have nothing else to say.
And I have nowhere else to go.

(C) Slumpless

Blow me

Blow me.

Blow me out. 

Just keep exhaling. 

You know we’re failing.

Do it. Until I am no more than a distant mist.
I’ll turn to cloud and then to rain.

Either way I’ll end up in a drain.

But maybe just maybe..

I will fall in a stream.

Or end up in someone’s soaking dream. 

So blow me. Blow me well.

Because your breath is purgatory but your lungs are hell.

(C) Slumpless

When I die

And when I die you can reveal my name

And they’ll say: “I didn’t realise she was so sad.”

But aren’t we all? 

Sometimes.

(Some more than most)

(C) Slumpless 

 

Nothing to worry about

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There’s torment in the pit of me

And this tight ball of fear won’t disappear

I sit, consumed with worry

I can’t quite get a grip

These thoughts that dangle from my brain

Are covered in spiders.

Yesterday I bounced on land

Now I sink into quicksand

Is anyone else the same?

Or am I all alone in this video game?

The doctor dismissed me by being gruff

Doesn’t he know I’ve had enough?

Nothing again will fill me with cheer.

I have nothing to worry about

But everything to fear

(c) Slumpless

 

Coma

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I’m in a self-induced coma

I can’t cope with this life

So I’ll shut it out for now

Stop paying attention

Turn off the TV

Smother the radio

Try to find joy inside

Hope that my childish notion of happy endings

Can still come true.

” Stop the world I want to get off?”

Nah… just stop the noise.

(c) Slumpless

Calipers

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You squeezed my skull in calipers

Found me lacking.

I tried to add inches to my intellect-Big words to my little life.

But my head hurts from all this trying

You hold your cigarette with disdain

I should have expected the same.

That black smoke that wakes you in the morning and lulls you to sleep

It only fills your lungs but not your heart

I guess I’m the same.

Breathed in and puffed out.

You’ll give up on me

Eventually.

(c) Slumpless

Pages and Ages

 

You are a reluctant passenger on this sphere (1)

I will clamber through the ages

Search through infinite pages

Sift through songs

Get it all wrong

Over and over and over

Again and again and again

Until the bittersweet end

For you I have no shame

Just endless,senseless pain

For a shrug and a sigh

I will try and try and try.

Will you ever try to forgive?

So that I might actually live.

(c) Slumpless

 

Your Reluctant Life

You are a reluctant passenger on this sphere

You look like you just fell out of bed

Your morning breath and messy head

You’re smiling though which is good sign

So maybe today we might be fine.

Oh no. Wait. Damn.

You think I’m not looking.

Your smile is gone.

You’re just a bag of bones under that grin

And there’s nothing I can do.

Nothing I can say to make it right.

I’m sorry your world is so hard

That every day is a shard

Into your sad soul.

You don’t greet the day

You are a reluctant passenger on this sphere

Is your end near?

Every time I leave you, I say goodbye.

(c) Slumpless

 

Livewire

‘Oh you’re a wiry one’

She would say this without malice but the words hurt all the same.

Did she mean sharp? I have a sharp tongue I’m told and it slices strips off you.

Maybe she meant that I could never sit still

That there was a tremor in my blood

Electricity always running through my core

Well I tell you, I’m electric no more.

‘Is there a pulse?’ I hear this in the distance but all I see is her face and slow thud of my heart fading.

‘ A wiry one’. I smile inside.

I’ll ask her what she meant.

(C) Slumpless 

Lamb of Sod

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I bleated to the sky

I am a lamb in the wind on the hill

The clouds have darkened and there is a storm

Oh who will keep me warm?

Do you not have wool child?

Make use of it.

Soon it will be mild

And the best of you will be used to heat others.

No not your brothers.

Those that will eat you to bone.

And leave you all alone.

Today enjoy your heat

For tomorrow you will be meat.

(c) Slumpless