A ladle of silky contentment poured over my shoulders
Here it was. The moment I had been waiting for.
Nothing in particular but everything at the same time.
A smooth, settling in the pit of my stomach
A filling of a chasm
Was it the sun ?
The fulfillment of all my wishes ?
Or was it just that you washed the dishes ?
Can I draw the liquid lines of you with my thumbing stroke?
Bleed the sap that I know lingers in the funnel of your heart?
Oh there are ways and means to make your fountain flow
I know most but not all
I will find the waterfall
I strum and hum the tunes that make oblique, the straight lines of your beautiful legs
You beg for more lick and that’s the trick.
Just a breath away.
I’ll stay just a breath away until even a whisper, will send you to simmer
The releasing breaths of a chord too highly strung
Is magic, melody to ears and head that need a patting. A petting.
Wet. Wet. Wetting.
I told you I loved you
While you were still inside me
And I think I felt you shrivel.
Stabbing me with a blunted knife
Oh God the pain.
Why ? Why? Why ?
This compulsion to seek revulsion ?
What do you mean love ?
That’s what you said.
Would the right definition make you say it back ?
It’s too late now. I won’t say it again.
I rolled away from you and left the room. Your house. Your life.
But those pitying eyes … ?
They are all I remember
Can I be a warm balmy evening?
Can I be fresh citrus light?
Can I coat you in apple blossoms
Taste your cherry flavored gum
Just for fun?
Can I breathe out desire and soak in stress
Make life seem less…. just less.
Can my soft skin tip yours so that goosebumps hold you close
Can I be the mosquito that sucks your blood
Both annoying and good
Scratch. Scratch me.
Let me in
Under your skin
All over your mouth.
Let me linger on your fingers
Loll on your nose
In quiet repose.
I can be in all of your senses
All of your dreams
Just wish it so. Wish it true.
So I can be all of those things for you.
This is what I’m made for
To float like dandelion seeds in the wind
To dream of your tongue on my navel
To taste the sap
To sip from your tap
This is what I’m born for
To crave your skin
To long for you to be in
And around and around.
I will linger and linger
For the tip of your finger
Like a seal on rock
To feel your ….
I’m lava now
Hot and molten
Waiting to erupt.
‘Just one night’ he said ‘And then no more’
It hasn’t happened but I feel like a whore.
‘Just one time.. she won’t find out.’
It hasn’t happened but he’s still a lout.
‘But no more contact, no more texts
This is not a relationship
Just merely sex’.
Does he know I’m human
That I have heart?
Was I not clear about it from the start?
I have feelings and if we shag
He’ll throw me away like a dirty rag.
I’ll want it to be special
I’ll want it to be more
But I’ll be left lying at the door.
So he really thinks I want a one night stand?
I’d rather use my own right hand.
Oh silken longing
You wove your way between us
And the heat we felt was like no other
Thick and unctuous.
Killing us kindly.
We followed it to hell and
Now we spin in sulfurous steam
Flayed and splayed.
A fire that will never turn to cinder
Never return to sender.
I am writing this post to highlight the effect contraceptive pills can have on your mental health. Ladies I’m not dissuading you from contraception but rather asking you to be aware of the effects it can have on your moods and not be afraid to try various options until you find the right one. ‘May cause mood swings’ sounds so benign but based on my personal experiences those mood swings can make you and break you:
It’s just a pill.. try it and see
But that pill could break me
The world can turn black on that little white sphere
You don’t understand?
You’ve seen ‘The Matrix’?
Well it’s the same… ish
I mean this pill has powers to change my world
To remove the illusion of the life I lead
It can create pools of bubbling anger I never knew I had
Make the green eyed monster appear.
But I’m no ‘Neo’
When I’m in it , I can’t fight.
Can’t see the light.
So no it’s not just a pill
It’s not just a mood swing
It’s is the pendulum and I am in the pit.
Let me wrap you in sublime
Clothe you in caresses
Let every inch of you be enveloped
Every particle developed
Let me know all the ways that make your skin shiver
Let me be giver.
Swim in your river.
I can tell that you’re ready
This lust is ever heady
Don’t try and be strong
This isn’t wrong.
I love to give.
You won’t die, I promise.
But you will certainly
Scratch it. Scratch it.
You want to.
Those cells are asking to be lifted.
Stop tapping your fingers on wood.
Let them do good. Here.
Lick it. Lick it.
Lap the curiosity away.
Swim in the swamp not the lake
I promise I won’t fake.
I don’t have to.
Don’t live with an itch.
Make me twitch.
I’m not a witch.
Or am I?
You’re thinking about me now?
I know you are.
I’m under your skin.
It’s beginning again…
That uncertainty about whether you’re feeling it too.
I can swear you looked sad when I was leaving
But maybe that’s just me?
Can it ever be ?
For once you have more to lose than I do.
My boundaries are always blurred
Something tells me yours are more defined
My intentions were pure … are?
But the shift was sudden in the gloom
And I felt the heat emanate from me into the room.
You must have felt it. Others have felt it before.
I swear I’m not a whore.
You know what I’m like
So you were expecting this.
I was too if I’m honest.
You have been healing me
But in doing so, have brought about a new sickness
One that leaves me sweating in the night
Wondering. Longing. Hoping.
Wretched once more.
Come now and follow me
Into the sea. Into the water
Let your feet slide into the depths of this
The depths of bliss.
I promise you’ll like it
I urge you
To submerge you
You can shrug those clothes off
It’s warm down here and we are but limpets
Clinging to each other while hell raises above us
In a scummy foam each time we moan
Silken skin and salty hair
Your eyes may close to adapt to the change
But soon you won’t find anything strange
So dive… dive in deep
Because before now you were fast