I am writing this post to highlight the effect contraceptive pills can have on your mental health. Ladies I’m not dissuading you from contraception but rather asking you to be aware of the effects it can have on your moods and not be afraid to try various options until you find the right one. ‘May cause mood swings’ sounds so benign but based on my personal experiences those mood swings can make you and break you:
It’s just a pill.. try it and see
But that pill could break me
The world can turn black on that little white sphere
You don’t understand?
You’ve seen ‘The Matrix’?
Well it’s the same… ish
I mean this pill has powers to change my world
To remove the illusion of the life I lead
It can create pools of bubbling anger I never knew I had
Make the green eyed monster appear.
But I’m no ‘Neo’
When I’m in it , I can’t fight.
Can’t see the light.
So no it’s not just a pill
It’s not just a mood swing
It’s is the pendulum and I am in the pit.
Let me wrap you in sublime
Clothe you in caresses
Let every inch of you be enveloped
Every particle developed
Let me know all the ways that make your skin shiver
Let me be giver.
Swim in your river.
I can tell that you’re ready
This lust is ever heady
Don’t try and be strong
This isn’t wrong.
I love to give.
You won’t die, I promise.
But you will certainly
Scratch it. Scratch it.
You want to.
Those cells are asking to be lifted.
Stop tapping your fingers on wood.
Let them do good. Here.
Lick it. Lick it.
Lap the curiosity away.
Swim in the swamp not the lake
I promise I won’t fake.
I don’t have to.
Don’t live with an itch.
Make me twitch.
I’m not a witch.
Or am I?
You’re thinking about me now?
I know you are.
I’m under your skin.
It’s beginning again…
That uncertainty about whether you’re feeling it too.
I can swear you looked sad when I was leaving
But maybe that’s just me?
Can it ever be ?
For once you have more to lose than I do.
My boundaries are always blurred
Something tells me yours are more defined
My intentions were pure … are?
But the shift was sudden in the gloom
And I felt the heat emanate from me into the room.
You must have felt it. Others have felt it before.
I swear I’m not a whore.
You know what I’m like
So you were expecting this.
I was too if I’m honest.
You have been healing me
But in doing so, have brought about a new sickness
One that leaves me sweating in the night
Wondering. Longing. Hoping.
Wretched once more.
Come now and follow me
Into the sea. Into the water
Let your feet slide into the depths of this
The depths of bliss.
I promise you’ll like it
I urge you
To submerge you
You can shrug those clothes off
It’s warm down here and we are but limpets
Clinging to each other while hell raises above us
In a scummy foam each time we moan
Silken skin and salty hair
Your eyes may close to adapt to the change
But soon you won’t find anything strange
So dive… dive in deep
Because before now you were fast