The Rush

Who am I in this sad story ?

The pathetic character that swallows lies like they were made of gin ?

The third wheel in that overused triangle, where everyone is rooting for the other girl ?

Am I heroine or meth ?

Which has the happy ending?

But I must be a fool. I must.

Only a fool would keep going back to barbed wire

Keep touching fire

Yearning for a burning, a bite.

Maybe it’s venom that sustains me

Even though it pains me.

I like your hands around my neck

In between ecstasy and smack.

Keeps me on track. Or off.

Grass is better than tarmac.

I’ll keep running in circles either way.

The air around me pungent with your words.

All absurd

And sweet but not in equal measure

The good old pain/pleasure

The undulating pulse of your tongue.

Wringing.Wringing. Wrung.

Maybe I’m just vapour, a smoke

The joke.

A joint in your story.

A silly pause, where you rested your mouth

Before moving south.

I try to do my steps. To get you out of my system.

But when there is nothing but hush

All I remember is the rush.

(C)Slumpless

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Reboot

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I bit off your flaky scalp

And was mesmerized by the smooth mound of your skull

Underneath all that talk

There was silence.

Should I delve further ?

Lick my way through to your little brain

Would a tumor explain your humor?

I’m looking for something.

A needle in a winding grey matter of mess

An explanation of your stress

I want to bury deep into valve and vein

Just to explain

Just to understand

Some hidden part of you

But all I find are clock parts

Winding, grinding cogs

I suppose at the end of the day

We’re all made that way.

I expected more. More than a void.

But you are just android.

(c) Slumpless

Clean Lines

When did I stop filling blank walls?

I used to stick up postcards to clutter up the gaps.

Old scraps

From magazines and places I longed to go.

Make the place interesting. Make me interesting.

Blue tack clinging to the backs of pretty flowers, mounds of spices

Trying so hard to hold it together

Color the beige out.

When did I stop liking Klimpt posters ?

” So studenty” that’s what I say now.

There was a time when that kiss was everything I wanted to be.

When Dali’s long legged creatures and melting clocks made me feel something more than a clean wall ever could.

A time when incense welcomed you at my door and we ate on the floor.

Now it’s clean lines and neat coffee tables.

Cream leather couches and women who click when they walk.

I used to go barefoot.

Drink wine while I cooked. Fall asleep on the sofa.

Clean lines. No clutter. I should feel free.

But beige just isn’t me.

(C) Slumpless

I wanted to say I love you

I wanted to say I love you

The words stuck in my craw

Too soon. Too much. Too soon.

The bursting need to utter them

Stutter them.

Stammer. Stammer. Stammer.

The words were a hammer in my soul.

How overwhelming this fire, this desire

I couldn’t lie with you and lie to you

Pretend you are less when you are more

So much more.

How can this be ?

I l ooo…. I can’t. I won’t. I can’t.

So I stare at you in terrible silence

Daring you to say it first

Read my mind, fool!

But you just smile

And I fall deeper.

(C) Slumpless

Segmented

Stop. Stop it now.

Please.

I’m peeling already.

Swirling bits of me unraveling onto the floor

If you don’t desist

My segments will spread

Soon I will be untethered

A pulpy mess.

No waxy exterior to make me shine.

All you will see are the pips.

Don’t peel me if you can’t handle the bitter and the sweet.

Have a banana instead.

(C)Slumpless

In Grain

Oh how lovely. How liberating.

I change my mind. I can stop.

This love thing has a pause.

My heart has become elastic.

Fantastic.

I can stretch it over your face then

Ping !

Draw back.

Just like you have.

I don’t have to sink deeper

I can grab a branch. Pull myself out.

Whoosh. Suck. Whoosh.

Plop.

Out I come from whatever this was.

Not covered in goo but grain.

Sane.

Quicksand after-all. No slime.

No grime.

Oh my how I’ve changed .

My mind. My life. My way of loving.

It’s better this way.

Better for me.

But the funny thing is when I walk away.

You always follow.

(C) Slumpless

Wave Goodbye

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I dream of waves

Inconsolable water that knows no forgiveness

It’s coming you see.

The big one.

Do you dream of it too ?

It will toss and turn us

Hurl us away.

You and your big house

Me in my flat.

All of this. All of that.

The roar. The gurgle.

The silence.

(c) Slumpless