Too close to the night

I wanted to be neat and tidy.

No aches or pains.

Steady as she goes.

I needed to be light and fluffy

A breath of fresh air to replenish your soul.

And I was. For a while.

But like a burning photograph

The edges of me began to singe and smoulder

And slowly but surely I crumpled inwards

My gaping smile, fading… fading until

Puff!

I was no more than smoke

That made you splutter and choke.

I can never be colour.

I will never shine bright

My soul is too close to the surface

Too close to the night.

(C) Slumpless

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Good Girl

Was it worth it ?

Heightening your nights

Adding shimmer and shine ?

Were they divine ?

Do you look back now in nostalgic haze

Do you long for those days

That ran into those nights

Like carriages in a crash

Fast, fasterSmash.

I was a good girl

No tabs for me

No artificial highs

No LSD

And sometimes now I wonder

Why the fuck not?

Do I feel any more righteous

Did I escape the rot ?

Are my memories any sharper

My life more on track ?

I feel grey today

But I suppose it could be black.

(C) Slumpless

Reboot

robot-3010309_1920

I bit off your flaky scalp

And was mesmerized by the smooth mound of your skull

Underneath all that talk

There was silence.

Should I delve further ?

Lick my way through to your little brain

Would a tumor explain your humor?

I’m looking for something.

A needle in a winding grey matter of mess

An explanation of your stress

I want to bury deep into valve and vein

Just to explain

Just to understand

Some hidden part of you

But all I find are clock parts

Winding, grinding cogs

I suppose at the end of the day

We’re all made that way.

I expected more. More than a void.

But you are just android.

(c) Slumpless

Clean Lines

When did I stop filling blank walls?

I used to stick up postcards to clutter up the gaps.

Old scraps

From magazines and places I longed to go.

Make the place interesting. Make me interesting.

Blue tack clinging to the backs of pretty flowers, mounds of spices

Trying so hard to hold it together

Color the beige out.

When did I stop liking Klimpt posters ?

” So studenty” that’s what I say now.

There was a time when that kiss was everything I wanted to be.

When Dali’s long legged creatures and melting clocks made me feel something more than a clean wall ever could.

A time when incense welcomed you at my door and we ate on the floor.

Now it’s clean lines and neat coffee tables.

Cream leather couches and women who click when they walk.

I used to go barefoot.

Drink wine while I cooked. Fall asleep on the sofa.

Clean lines. No clutter. I should feel free.

But beige just isn’t me.

(C) Slumpless

Bit by Bit

Maybe I’m dead already

I feel you walking on my grave

I shout and scream but no one hears

No one cares.

I’m a corpse among the living

But not the pretty sugar skull, kind.

I’m ignored. Muted. Paused.

Can anyone hear me ? Anyone ?

When did it happen ?

When was my last laugh ? My last guttural outburst?

It’s all dampened down now.

Hush. Hush. Hush.

No matter how hard I dance for you all

I feel you have written me off

Bit by bit by obituary.

(C)Slumpless

Tummy Truths

Listen to your guts

Those wrenching, clenching, squelching knots they make.

They’re telling you something,

You may not want to hear.

I doubted their bubbling ways.

Told myself that all was well

That memories are just playing with bile

But all the while

They knew your untruths.

You lied to my face and it believed you

But my entrails are less naive.

So next time I hear that rumble

I won’t mistake it for thunder

But I will know a storm is coming.

(C)Slumpless

Subtitles

I thought we had movie love

The kiss in the rain feel no pain kind

Run down the streets shouting my name

Fight monsters and beasts

Just to see me.

But no ever-after, for us .

Ours is the tragic kind

The one you wish you could rewind

Less flame more fog

The sad, silent type of film

And I’m not sure if you’re speaking

Or if I need subtitles

And it’s all just too much to watch

I want to look away

But my eyes are glued to this scene

Will it ever end ?

Reeling.Reeling. I’m reeling.

Fin.

(C) Slumpless