Stop. I need to stop.
When my heart steals away in the night
Time travelling back to your hands in my hair
I need to quench this thirst for memories
I am laden down with heavy baskets full of the past.
How can I move when every finger is weighed down?
I trudge through the days without you.
And I think I must have seen myself back then when you held me in the night.
I’m pretty sure it was me , sitting in corner looking sad.
But how do I do it ?
Learn, when all I do is yearn ?
Smile without wincing?
Is there a potion made to numb ?
Now I understand gin.
I’m glass and always was and you’re the stone that landed in this vessel.
Tomorrow is another day..
Do you believe in Fairies ?
Don’t laugh just think.
Do you believe in stories with no proof?
Stories to make you feel better. Stories to shut you up.
You might as well.
I always thought that if I loved hard enough magic would happen.
That you would return the favor.
Oh Disney and Hollywood
All those stories that make you feel good.
I grew up on those, made wishes to the skies
But I may have found out about Santa
But not the rest of those lies.
You spoke to the raw, ticking part of me.
The viscous blood that pools in this turbine head
You saw the graves I dig for myself
And you helped me shovel down
The rain in sheets upon our ravaged backs
As we fought the granite masses of the soil.
Toiling. Soiling. Spoiling.
You and I are boiling oil.
We spill over vestments and scorch the eyes that watch.
I cling to your immortal hold on me
Parasite love. Burrow in deep.
I go on forever.
There is a crinkle in the line of time
Where you were mine.
It goes in loops through space
Over and over through seas of effervescent stars.
A universe kind of love.
A galaxy of heat
But It burns too fast my dear
And that crinkle is now a coil
Waiting for release
So I loosen my grip and watch you float further away from me into the night
And although there is black
There is also the moon and it’s beautiful pull
And that spinning sphere of blue.
There’s me and always you.
You break the heart of me my love
Cut the soul right out of its skin.
Over. Over.And over
I let you do it it.
This pulsing part on a plate
Sloshed about like a cheap stew
Made cheaper by me.
While I yearn for your expensive smile
The one that only comes out at night.
Me ? My teeth are always on display
Night. Day. I just give it away
As if it means nothing.
Talk is cheap but so is a smile.
And mine is free.
You undo all the things I’ve done
Where I put the kettle.
Where I left the salt.
You move me around like I’m made of nothing
And all I want to do is run.
I don’t think you would notice
Until breakfast time when the coffee doesn’t appear beside your bed.
You rearranged my kitchen.
And now I have nothing.
Dig deep you sad little thing
Find that flutter, buried under hard concrete.
It’s in there… somewhere.
What does it take, to make the earth shake ?
For you ?
Is it fire that gets you going
Or do prefer ice ?
You’ve forgotten I know
We all do.
So keep digging my friend.
Keep going through rock, sand and shale
You might fail. Or you might find seed
The one that needs the light.
The one you thought was dead.
The one buried in a hole.
Deep. Deep within your soul.