You planted flowers.
There was nothing but concrete and grey
God that grey. Suffocating. Stifling grey.
And wretched looking people and their wretched looking pets
Another siren in the distance.
But you planted flowers.
And I was on the bus
And though you don’t know me
I feel somehow you do.
So please keep them watered
Because it matters .
It matters to me.
Thanks you guys
You have taught me well
This messing me around shit
Has given me Hell.
Will he reply ? Will he text?
What’s happening now ?
What happens next?
Thanks y’all for making me feel crazy
The last few years are somewhat hazy
Constant confusion , up and down moods
Wondering how anyone could be so rude?
But still I thank you
Because now you see
I too can be a player
Not just a playee.
This karma thing it really works
So lashings of gratitude to all you jerks.
All I want to do is sleep
Because being without you is being stuck to the hands of a clock
I feel every second jolt my core
Time isn’t like before.
It used to fly. Remember?
Just yesterday I floated on weightless sand
Upside down in an hourglass
Then right back up again.
Now it’s just circles.
And they never fucking end.
Ok it’s time to retreat
Pull back woman for God’s sake.
You have your own personal Groundhog day.
Use it. Remember. Learn.
You put your heart on your sleeve
So let him simmer. Let him wonder.
Don’t tear your own life asunder.
Let it be. Just wait in the long grass.
You do it so well when you don’t really care
It may not be fun
But if you push
He will run.
Maybe it’s better if he does
I cry alone in the kitchen
Soft burbles on the outside
Giant blubbering within.
I can’t let him see what has happened my heart
He never even knew it was gone.
Wretched. Wicked. Wrecked.
The smell of burnt rice reminds me of my place
So I wipe my face
Breathe deeply, stop the whines
It is after all Valentine’s.
You are a bastard
But you told me you were
So I suppose more fool me.
You made me feel that I had charmed you
You waited and waited
Like a snake in the grass
Until the crickets chirped and peace filled the air
Until the soft soul of me was bared
You bit me good and hard.
The venom is all over me now.
My blood has turned glassy
I would have given you this vein for free.
Don’t make me choose
Because I will choose you
What did you think ?
But a part of me will always wonder
Will always wander
And you will see it in my distant eyes
In that hazy glaze that far off daze.
Don’t make me pick between him and you
There’s no need
He’s him and he’s New.
Don’t battle for my heart
You’ve already won.
Your flag is right in the centre.
But boundaries shift
You know they must
From love to lust
Then back again
Don’t make me decide between shore and tide
It’s amazing what frothy waters can hide.
I will always sway between both
The moon makes it so
I come. Sometimes.